Hey everyone,
This last fall I was a guest on three podcasts. Two of those podcasts have gone live already. The final one just came out yesterday and is live on YouTube. I had a lot of fun on this episode. We talked about a whole host of different topics on life, culture, anthropology, art, AI, change, and the future. Check out our conversation at the link below
Author: michaelkilman
Cover Reveal for Shades & Shapes in the Dark
I’m incredibly happy to share the cover for my new forthcoming book Shades & Shapes in the Dark, my first standalone horror novel.
Here’s the book description that will appear on the back of the paperback:
How Do You Survive Four Decades of Darkness?
When nine-year-old Clarissa chased a thief through the woods and stumbled upon something sinister, she had no idea how the shadow creature would transform the next four decades of her life. During her journey, she must learn to fight back and find allies while protecting them from the creature’s murderous hunger. Will she let the darkness consume her? Or will she find the secret to cast light on the shadow?
So, when is it coming out?
This novel is big, so I’ve decided to release it in six parts. Each of the six parts will be either short novel length, or novella length. Act I is going out to beta readers this weekend. I am wrapping up the rest of the book this month. Once Act I is released a new entry will come out each following month. So you will never have to wait too long I am expecting ACT I to release in February or March of 2024 pending the Beta Review. I will have an exact release date and schedule for all of you after the new year.
I will be releasing a sample of part 1 once the book comes back from my editor to everyone. But, if you’re a paid subscriber on my Substack, you’ll not only get the ebook for free, but you’ll also get it a week early.
I can’t wait for you all to read this. I truly believe this is some of my best work.
Tips to Navigate Those Tough Holiday Conversations (From an Anthropologist)

Is it really the holidays again?
Do you feel stressed just thinking about a few of your relatives who will create contentious conversations? Who are difficult to deal with? Are you ready for the holidays to be over before they begin?
The best advice is usually to avoid those thorny conversations, to find common ground, and focus on stuff you agree on. It’s good advice. But that’s not always possible. Sometimes you can’t avoid the tough conversations. So why not find ways to make them easier over time?
Ram Dass famously said, “If you think you are so enlightened, spend a week with your family.” And it’s true. Our families can be the most challenging group for us to deal with. There is so much history there that they can struggle to see the person you are now, as opposed to the person you used to be. It’s easy to forget that people change when you’ve known them for decades, especially from childhood.
I’ve been teaching Anthropology, Cross-Cultural Communication, and Diversity for almost ten years. So, I thought maybe I would offer up a few tips to help you navigate the holidays and how we can start healing the division we’re all experiencing.
Before I dive in, I want to ask you to read the whole thing. Quite frankly, when I am out in the world discussing this stuff, people will often interrupt and dismiss some of these tools for a variety of reasons. I will address most of this below, so even if you don’t agree with something I write, I encourage you to keep reading till the end because your question might be answered.
1. Listen to Understand, Not To Be Right
When I teach classes on diversity or communication, students are assigned reading reflections. In the first portion of these assignments, they must fully summarize an article with the core ideas, and the evidence the author is using to make their claims. They are not allowed to inject their opinion in the summary section. Why? Because before you can critique an argument, you have to fully understand it. So, before they are allowed to share their opinion, in the following section, they must first demonstrate they can summarize someone else’s argument.
This is an important life skill.
When someone has contrasting beliefs with our own, we tend to shut down and stop thinking critically. The walls go up. Then we accuse the other person of a lack of critical thinking or ignorance or dismiss them in some way. Who is right and who is wrong isn’t really the core issue here. Neither side is hearing the other and so no one will see a way across the divide.
Don’t listen to someone to prove something. Don’t listen to someone to be right. That is just an emotional reaction. You have allowed your emotions to take possession of you. This means the other person will also react emotionally and the conflict will escalate, and both parties will walk away miserable.
What to do instead?
Take a breath and listen. Don’t just listen to what they are saying, but try to understand where their concern comes from. What’s at the root of their fear and anxiety? It’s often different than you might think. What are their desires? Their hopes? What does a good future look like to them?
This leads to the next point…
2. Ditch the Devil’s Advocate
After nearly a decade of teaching, I’ve come to believe that the Devil’s Advocate approach is well, a devil. Meaning that it’s rarely a useful approach. The position of the Devil’s advocate masks itself as sincere critique, but most of the time, it ignores the concerns of the other person and seeks only to undercut someone else’s argument. It’s often dishonest, and disingenuous.
There are spaces where it’s possible to use the devil’s advocate well. If you’re in the midst of a debate in some kind of performative setting, where there is a moderator or someone able to continually keep both people in bounds, it can work. But the Devil’s Advocate isn’t a tool to persuade someone to your side, it’s to persuade an audience to your position. That’s a completely different tool. You’re not going to connect with the person you’re arguing with by using the Devil’s advocate approach, at least not usually. Yes, there are some people who can get something from this approach, but again, in my years of teaching on these topics, I’ve found nine times out of ten, it causes more problems than it solves.
What to do instead?
Use a kind of soft Socratic approach. You have to be gentle with this approach because remember, Socrates pissed enough people off that they made him drink poison. The goal is not to make the other party feel stupid or ignorant (which is what got Socrates killed) but to open the door for them to think about their viewpoint. Ask questions motivated to understand what the other person is saying. These questions should be rooted in an earnest curiosity to investigate their true thoughts and desires.
You’d be surprised how many people build a wall with their beliefs to try and prevent themselves from feeling overwhelmed by information. Soft Socrates can help them recognize that wall, to see that they’ve created a blockage between themselves and others.
How do you do this?
Don’t try to argue your beliefs. Don’t try to make appeals that work on you. Everyone has empathy, it’s a matter of who they have empathy for, and what they feel personally connected too. If someone doesn’t like immigrants, talking about women and children suffering, isn’t going to work in a direct approach.
Ask questions that show them you are empathetic to them, that you’re willing to listen and want to understand them. This builds rapport and creates space for them to share their deeper feelings and thoughts over time, and allows you to speak to them in a way they may understand in the future.
Again, you don’t have to agree with their beliefs or ideas (you can disagree with them intensely), but being able to summarize someone else’s argument effectively, is a really powerful tool for a number of reasons. Remember, this is just a conversation. Nothing is lost if they don’t ultimately agree with you, because, well, they already don’t. So ask lots of clarifying questions. If you can understand their point of view, you can learn to speak their language.
Ask questions like:
You keep bringing this up. Why is this issue more important to you the others?
Can you help me understand how and why you came to that conclusion?
If they got their ideas from a media personality consider: Where do you think that this person got their ideas and information? Have you seen this personally?
Was there something that you experienced that made you feel this way?
How might someone else interpret that experience?
It sounds like you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. I have too. But do you think you can explain the beliefs of people who disagree with you? Do they all think that way?
How do you think the other side came to their beliefs?
Why do you think their conclusions are as important to them, as your conclusions are important to you?
What do you think is important for other people to know about this topic? Why is that?
Is there another way of thinking about that issue that you can at least partially agree with?
What do you have in common with the people you disagree with?
Wow, it sounds like you care a lot about this issue. How can we solve this issue in a way that benefits everyone involved?
The point with this approach is to establish common ground and to get them thinking that there are other ways of interpreting the same information. You’d be surprised how often someone who believes the opposite things as you, wants very similar things.
In general, people want to know that their basic needs are going to be met. They want to have the peace and freedom to pursue their interests and desires, and that people will care about them when something happens. Yes, even bigots want these things.
3. Remember Context, Conditions, and Choices
If you’re new to my work, you may not have heard of the Three C’s (well, my three C’s) before. I gave a Ted Talk on this back in 2021 and you can certainly watch that if you want a full breakdown, but in brief, it’s important to remember the elements that make up identity.
Context – The cultural system into which someone was born. This includes all the available cultural knowledge they grew up with, the time in history, and important historical events that will have shaped their thinking. This is the entire system into which they were born, not their personal experience.
Conditions – These are the personal experiences that someone has had in their life. What kind of exposure to different ideas have they had? What challenges have they faced? What are their religious beliefs, language, gender, class identity, and so on. How do these compare to the norms of the culture (does that create conflict or perceived conflict for them?) These are their experiences within the system they were born.
Choices – Once you have taken the time to understand a person’s cultural background and personal life experiences, you can begin to understand many of their choices, their political opinions, their religious beliefs, and so on. This doesn’t mean you agree with them, but this exercise is to help you recognize them not as that ranting irrational person you can barely stand to be around, but as a complex person who has different thoughts, desires, emotions, and needs.
Humanizing someone is important. Dehumanizing someone is the first step to violence. That doesn’t mean you like what they believe (especially if their beliefs are dehumanizing), it doesn’t mean you agree with what they are saying, but understanding is the starting point to a more cohesive coexistence and to find ways to solve problems.
People do not usually change their minds because someone screams facts at them. They have to connect emotionally with the facts. If you connect with them, and you build trust, they are far more likely to listen to you and given enough time, change their mind.
There are no quick fixes here. People don’t come to hate something in a singular moment. It takes time. Either they are born into a way of thinking and they are raised with it, or something happened to them to put them in a vulnerable position where the seeds of hatred could grow. Hate usually grows from outrage, and these days, all of us, across the political spectrum, consume media that purposely makes us feel outraged. That’s how these companies make their money.
That’s actually optimistic because we’ve created these problems. That means we can uncreate many of them.
4. This won’t work every time, and it takes lots of practice
As someone who has not only taught diversity for a decade but has lived and worked among other cultures, I’ve heard every argument for why we should or shouldn’t appeal to the humanity of someone who disagrees with us.
Things like:
“You can’t be tolerant of someone who wants to end your existence.”
“Some people just thrive on chaos.”
“They are a narcissist (or some other reason they will never listen).”
“They are willfully ignorant and will never change their mind.”
“I know better because I’m older and more experienced.”
“They are too old to change their mind.”
“They could never understand what I’ve been through.”
“Their generation has xyz issues.”
Maybe these are true. Maybe you’re right and that person will never listen. Have you tried the above approaches? Have you put down your weapons and tried to talk about these things, not to win, not to be right, but to understand? Maybe you have. Maybe my advice doesn’t work for the person or people you’re thinking about.
But it will for someone. And in a world where so many of us feel the rising conflict, every person who listens counts. Every courageous conversation counts. It’s often the little acts that change the world, that bring communities together.
People doubt their beliefs, especially when there are obvious holes in what they think. People are aware at some level, of their own cognitive dissonance. It’s why they get so angry when presented with a sincere challenge to their worldview. When you attack them, it gives them a reason to put aside their doubt, and build a higher wall.
But if you approach things from a different direction, if you meet their walls with an olive branch, sometimes they will open the gate. Given enough time, they might start to take bricks off that wall, enough that they can start to see over to the other side. Even if they never fully change their mind, softening their view can deescalate potential violence and conflict. Even if becomes, well, we know we can’t approach that topic but we still love and care for each other, that’s a victory. If you have even 10% more peace during your holiday. That’s a victory.
No this won’t work every time. It might not work the first time, or the tenth, but if we care about this person, or ever cared about this person, we must remember their humanity.
I am definitely not perfect. I screw this up all the time. Ten years of teaching, and I can’t always make it work. There are some people, and some things that just get under my skin and I have a hard time seeing past that. But over time, that’s less true. Over time, I can talk about complex issues such as race, gender, or oppression in ways that are more accessible and thought-provoking, less attacking, and more about developing connections.
I’ve been the angry activist on the street, screaming and shouting for tyranny to end. I’ve written no end of essays and articles about injustice. I conducted graduate research on media and representation and saw all the terrible ways our system treats differences. I’ve struggled with elements of my own identity for most of my life. I grew up in a deeply segregated community on the East Coast and didn’t understand anything about diversity. But I learned. I changed. I continue to make mistakes and reflect so that I continue to grow.
It’s know it’s hard to be the bigger person, really hard. But I promise you, the payoff is worth it. We just have to try. Sometimes we will make a connection and change things for the better. Sometimes we won’t. But you never know for sure until you try.
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and some of this is useful.
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Crafting New Worlds: Exploring the Fusion of Anthropology and Storytelling with Michael Kilman on the Colorado Switchblade Podcast

Hey readers,
Yesterday I went on the Colorado Switchblade Podcast and talked about my work as a media researcher, an anthropologist, storytelling, and the value of community and art. It was a fun conversation with Jason Van Tatenhove, who may have even seen on places like CNN and Dr. Phil. Check it out, and definitely check out the Switchblade, it’s doing some really interesting stuff.
You can read the article and listen to the podcast here.
Walking the World (Poem)
Sometimes I think about why I became an anthropologist, about what my goals in the profession were. I think about what I’ve done with my life and what I want to do. So I guess, here’s what I have to say.

I took this photo in Oregon in May of 2022.
Walking the World
I have dreams of walking the world,
And resting in the arms of it’s people,
To sit and sip their hearts desires,
To journey through every kind of steeple.
I have dreams of walking the world,
To touch all it’s natural wonders,
To walk through every stormy night,
My path illuminated by lightning and thunder.
I have dreams of walking the world,
Even if it means my death,
For what better way to end your life,
By learning and loving with every breath.
I have dreams of walking the world,
And discovering all the ways I am wrong,
To learn of all my weaknesses and limitations,
Because it is the whole world to which we belong.
Worldbuilding Part 7: Schismogenesis, Taboo, and Identity
How do we create identities? How do we decide what kinds of things are taboo in society? How do we know what is clean or dirty? Have you ever thought about the fact that sometimes, we reinforce our choices and values through rebellion and/or opposition?
It might be obvious why some things are taboo, or at least there is some sense of rationalism surrounding those ideas. It’s taboo to eat out of the garbage, since the likelihood you will get sick is high and that’s where we put the things we wish to discard. But why are there taboos surrounding colors of clothing or beards, or types of clothing or lack of clothing? Is there a rational reason a man can’t wear a bright pink bikini on a hot summer day in American society? Why does this make us uncomfortable? Is there a reason that it’s not considered manly? Keep in mind, by reason, I mean an objective scientific one. Don’t worry, you’re not going to find a picture of me in a bright pink bikini below, I promise. But when you’re building a fictional world, understanding why a society formulates taboos and norms can be really useful.
In this entry on worldbuilding, we are going to examine a way to think about how people form their identities and cultures using the concept of schismogenesis.
(Note: You can find the earlier entries on worldbuilding, including podcasts and a Ted Talk here)
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What is Schismogenesis?
Coined by Anthropologist Gregory Bateson in the 1930s, the term schismogenesis means essentially creation through division. By looking at your identity and behavior, I acknowledge how we are different, and thus solidify who I am. This often manifests as opposition. The most obvious form of schismogenesis is the rebellion of teenagers, who form their identity based on challenging acceptable behavior. Through opposition, they create identity. But this isn’t just a teenager thing, cultures and people do this all the time. It’s why suppressing differences, can actually make them stronger. The identity becomes more legitimate, more solid, because you fight against it.
Let’s return to bikinis.
I (apparently) am the kind of man who wears a bright pink bikini in public, and you, (assuming you’re a male in this example and of the status quo in American society) do not. Thus, I am behaving inappropriately in society, and you are not. You, will try to get me to conform. You will probably mock me for my strange behavior. You may seek to make me feel ashamed of wearing my bright pink bikini out in public. I will do one of two things. Either, I will capitulate, and take off my bikini and switch to the culturally acceptable norm of swimming trunks, or I will continue my rebellion and seek to recruit others who think like me. Thus, I will form my identity through opposition.
These kinds of things happen every moment of every day across every culture. Power and resistance are constantly in play on every level. Think of all the debates going on right now in your culture about what people should and should not do. There are hundreds of topics to choose from.
Let’s look at a more serious example. Take the pork taboo. Lots of people speculate why both Jews and Muslims have a pork taboo. People have puzzled over this idea for centuries. This isn’t just limited to Jews or Muslims either. Why do some cultures say that certain foods are clean, and others are dirty? There are entire lists of foods that people eat in one location in the world, but gag just thinking about them in another.
(Note: If you want to read a whole book on this topic and you are an anthropology nerd, consider Mary Douglas’s award winning 1966 book Purity and Danger: An Analysis of the Concepts of Pollution and Taboo)
But why pork? Well, if you ask a Jew or a Muslim, the answer you’ll likely get is that pigs are filthy animals. They are living garbage disposals and love to live in their own shit and piss and eat whatever you put in front of them. Why, they ask, would you eat such a creature as this?
The reality though, is that pigs are not like this out in the wild. In fact, when I was doing research in a rural village in Mexico in the northern state of Nueve Leon back in 2008, the pigs they had in those villages were far from disgusting or dirty. They grazed in fields alongside the other animals and ate similar things. They didn’t live in mud, they lived alongside all the other animals. So the filthy ‘nature’ of the pig that is the central complaint of the taboo is something artificially created by human action, not nature. Often cultures and people will come up with logical explanations for their taboos to justify their practices.
That doesn’t mean we should disrespect our Jewish or Muslim friends by forcing pork on them. Every culture has things it forbids that defy rationality or reason. We all have superstitions and traditions that aren’t based on evidence. The point here is not to judge, but to understand how this works to better assist you in building fictional worlds.
One possible explanation for the pork taboo is schismogenesis. In the ancient world, there was a period for the Jewish people known as the Babylonian Captivity or the Babylonian Exile. Many Jews were forced to live under the control of the Babylonian empire after the Babylonians conquered the Kingdom of Judah beginning first around 598 BCE. The Babylonians captured and enslaved many of the Jewish people.
There were two large staples of the Babylonian diet that both became taboo under the Kashrut, the dietary restrictions of the Jewish people. The first was pork, and the second was horse. Both foods were common in Babylon at the time. The enslaved Jews did not consume this food previously. Thus, as their enslavement continued, they ate foods similar to that of their homeland, and not of those who enslaved them. This certainly contributed in at least some way to the prohibition, though it may not have been the only cause.
But here we see, at least in part, schismogenesis in action. The Jews, under the yoke of an oppressor, didn’t want to partake in the food of those who had enslaved them, hence, their identity surrounding their food taboo. Several generations lived under these conditions, then, when the Persians conquered the Babylonians and allowed Jews to return to Palestine, many of those ideas circulated into the wider culture. Food is common as an important identity marker in many cultures, this is especially true in populations that have been historically oppressed.
Now again, there are many debates on the pork taboo, and this is only one possible explanation. In fact, most cultural taboos and restrictions can come from several causes at once. But, schismogenesis is useful because it helps clear up confusion in a culture. If the enemy other is doing something, and you don’t want to be like the enemy, then you can avoid doing that thing. This solidifies who you are as a culture and with it, identity. In our case, it helps create more complex fictional characters.
Here are few things to consider if you want to employ the concept of schismogenesis in your fictional world.
1. What are the core values of each of the fictional cultures you are building?
If you’re setting up a world where multiple major cultures will fight for control, then the first place to begin is where their core values lie.
– What kinds of things are important to your culture?
– What taboos do they have?
– What things to they exaggerate or emphasize about their adversaries?
– What qualities do they wish to cultivate in individuals on an ideal level?
– What does their mythology say about core values (refer to Worldbuilding Part 4 – Six Things to Think about When Construction Myth in Fiction if you need help with this)?
If you take these things and sketch out what each culture is doing in these worlds, you will have a good place to see potential conflict between the different ideas of morality and/or taboo in the cultures.
This is especially true if you have a culture that has been conquered by another. Acts of rebellion don’t end at violence or protest. They can manifest in everyday experiences. In fact, when you stress a culture out, there is always a core group of people who will try to preserve important elements of their culture, hence, the rise of fundamentalists. They want to go back to the way things were before the changes came. It doesn’t matter that you can never truly return to the way things were, people want that old sense of safety and security of their cultural norms.
This is why we see groups like the Amish, whose very existence is in opposition to the changes wrought by modern technology. I grew up in part on the east coast, and not far outside of Philadelphia, it was common to see the Amish on the road in their horse and buggy, slowing down traffic. The way they choose to live is a form of schismogenesis. It might not feel subversive to us to live in that way, but to them, it is.
Which brings me to another point. Cultures aren’t homogeneous. There are all kinds of diverse approaches and ways to live within cultures. Be sure to consider that as you highlight the values and taboos of the larger culture above. You will want some wiggle room for resistance, for factionalism, even as larger conflicts between nations are happening. People disagree on pretty much everything, and sometimes that disagreement is a huge part of their identity.
2. The minor differences matter
Yes, your cultures will argue over the big stuff. But the minor differences matter too. Every culture has a different protocol for body language, for dress, for the kinds of sounds and colors they like and dislike, and so on. Every little thing you do comes from making comparisons against others. While we focus on the things we like and enjoy, we often spend even more time on the things we don’t like or find disgusting as ways of acknowledging who we are.
Small things like how a culture eats can mark identity. Much of Europe didn’t adopt forks until the 17th or 18th century (depending on what region) because they were considered either unmanly or excessive. Just imagine, someone, at some point, was complaining about how feminine it was to use a fork. Yes, that really happened. Someone else decided to use a fork anyway, probably a teenager.
Even generations within cultures employ schismogenesis. Think about what different generations say about each other. I’m a millennial and hear constant complaints from older generations about us. I’m almost forty now, so obviously millennials aren’t that young anymore. I’ve noticed that there are a lot of complaints among my fellow millennials about Zoomers already. We make constant comparisons about all the little things we do differently.
You don’t have to pick big things for schismogenesis, in fact, sometimes a lot of little things add up to create stark differences. Remember, as I’ve said repeatedly in these entries, and in my book Build Better Worlds, culture is a performance. It’s a way of enacting practices to mark who you are and what you value. That isn’t just the big stuff, it’s all the little things too.
3. Living within a cultural script
Every culture has a kind of script, a set of rules to live by that are both formal (laws) or informal (norms). Some cultures (like our own) make the concepts of choice and freedom paramount to their core values. But if you step outside the bounds of their norms, there are still all kinds of ways you can be disenfranchised. Think of the debates surrounding the right way to be a man in our own society. Forks and pink bikinis aside, these discussions aren’t about objective truth.
In fact, the irony of this discussion is that if choice and freedom were truly at the center of the debate, there wouldn’t be arguments about what makes a “real man”. Men would just go out and do whatever they wanted and that would be manly. These same scripts that proscribe masculinity limit agency (freedom of movement within a culture). There’s no freedom by living up to the expectations of a cultural script, but there is a sense of unity, an imagined comradery. (Note: See Benedict Anderson’s 1990 book Imagined Communities for the Anthropology Nerds out there) Though we may never meet most other Americans, there are certain behaviors and identity markers that are expected to establish a sense of unity across the culture.
This isn’t about good or bad, this is what cultures do. How a culture maintains itself, or how it changes, is an endless conversation taking form in every arena of every culture. These masculine norms aren’t about freedom, it is about expectations, about clearing up confusion to make identifying what is male and what is female in clear terms. Humans in general like things simple. Unfortunately, very little about humans is simple. We might idealize certain behaviors or how many genders we think we are, but of course, certain behaviors that are beneficial and unifying to one group will naturally be oppressive and divisive for another. This is exactly why, opposition can be a core part of identity.
With all that in mind, take a moment to consider, what kind of cultural scripts are used in your fictional world. There are certainly trends among humans. Male domination, though not universal, is common in the modern world. There are still matriarchies out there, but they are few and far between because of the larger patterns of empire and conquest.
A few things to consider with cultural scripts:
– Remember Cognitive Maps (from the last post on worldbuilding) and how biological differences, magic systems, or superpowers will necessitate different brains and thus, different cultures.
– Different political systems, like the matriarchy mentioned above, would have different scripts
– Different economic systems, like a gift economy, or a system that uses potlatching, would have different scripts about what wealth and power look like
– Different religions, for example, one without deities, are going to focus on different scripts.
– Remember that culture is holistic, that every part of culture connects into every other part of culture, the scripts about behavior and identity will mirror all these elements put together
4. Enforcing identity and Solidifying Resistance
In order for a cultural script to be useful, it has to be enforced. In some societies, there are laws about how people dress. They enforce what activities different groups can participate in, how they should appear in public, and so on. In addition to these formal laws, or in a situation where there isn’t written law, rumors and gossip act as a kind of social surveillance to enforce expected behavior. Gossip is likely the oldest form of surveillance and uses shame and guilt as a weapon against anyone who doesn’t fit neatly into cultural scripts. If that sounds like high school, you’re not wrong. Humans have been doing this to each other since we were… well, humans.
Remember, these scripts are also created in part because a culture doesn’t want to behave like the other. They want to mark themselves as distinct and different. They don’t want to engage in the behaviors of the enemy other, dress like the enemy, eat like the enemy, or even talk like the enemy. Groups that are focused on differences will often advocate for exclusionary rules or policies that limit the kinds of diversity possible. They will shame and embarrass those who don’t fit in the mold. Often, they have a fear that this other, this adversary, will creep in and take their culture away from them by changing things or forcing them to change.
We even do this on a large scale. The 1978 book, Orientalism, by Edwards Said, highlights the perceptions of Europe and its false dichotomy of the Eastern world vs Western world. The book is an attempt to critique our stereotypes of the Eastern world, and how empire, colonialism, and bias played a role in our understanding of world history and cultural analysis.
According to Said, men of the Orient were portrayed as culturally backward, physically weak, and feminine. This reinforced the ideas of Western masculinity. Of course, perceptions of the men of the Orient were just stereotypes. And nothing robs people of their freedom quite like a stereotype. Raj from The Big Bang Theory, and Fez from That 70s Show, are stereotypical examples of Orientalism in action. Both the characters struggle to understand Western culture and are awkward. Both characters spend a lot more time with the women of the group and struggle to relate to the men in the same way. Both characters are mocked for their physical weakness.
Cultures will often create assumed cultural scripts for their enemy. We know these scripts as stereotypes. We expect the enemy to fit only within these boxes, and are often surprised when they don’t. This is not a product of only one culture, all cultures do this. We use our norms and rules to compare ourselves to the cultures we don’t like because they are a direct enemy, or because we consider them less civilized. But it works in a paternal dimension too. Paternalism in this case is the notion that we are more rational or advanced and must help civilize the “savage”.
What are the benefits of using Schismogenesis in fiction?
Employing schismogenesis creates all kinds of fertile ground for storytelling. There will be characters who highlight the differences between each group and hold conservative views about the way things have always been. There will be characters who think that some of these arbitrary things are well… arbitrary. They will accuse the conservatives of living in the past and highlight the ways that the past was ugly. These are the progressives of your society. They often advocate against these kinds of differences. However, they will also employ schismogenesis against those who they disagree with too, often the conservatives of their culture.
Just because you are liberal or progressive doesn’t mean you’re free of bias. No one is free of bias and oversimplistic thinking. We all generalize the people we disagree with. I catch myself doing it all the time. After all, it’s much easier to disagree with someone if you take away the nuance and complexity of their argument and create strawmen that are easy to knock down. We all have things we are bias about and we even know that some of them are arbitrary. Your characters absolutely should too.
There’s a third group in a mix, the ones who stand in the middle. These bicultural individuals (they can certainly have more than two cultural backgrounds) don’t have a specific set of rules or scripts to follow for their identity or they have more than one. Individuals like this are born in the middle of multiple scripts, being forced to discern how to move through the world. They could be mixed ethnicities and thus get culture from each parent, or perhaps they are an immigrant or refugee born in one culture, but now living in another. Every person who stands in the middle will take unique positions on different aspects of their identity and culture. Immigrants should be just as diverse and complex in their approach to the world as characters who are monocultural. Some immigrants may take on the dominant norms as an act of rebellion to their parents. Others may take on the traditions of their homeland to resist assimilation. Schismogenesis in the real world creates all kinds of diverse identities and experiences and in fiction, richer characters, backstories, and worldbuilding.
Consider:
– How do your characters compare themselves to other cultures and individuals?
– Why do they make that comparison? Are they jealous? Are they fascinated? Is the grass greener? Is the other more barbaric?
– Do they see some good things and some bad things about the other?
– What generation are they a part of? Are there changes in technology for that culture or maybe some new cultural practice or experience has arrived?
– Has contact with another culture happened recently?
– Has there been a change in the political or economic structure?
Some Final Thoughts
Norms change. We don’t consider forks unmanly anymore. Though I guess the jury is still out on men in pink bikinis. Every generation gains new ideas, and loses some old ones. Maybe in the era of social media things are changing faster than before, but we need a much longer view, in terms of decades, to really understand what social media is doing to us. Sometimes, changes that appear bad in the beginning create really interesting changes in the long term.
In building your world you could start out with one group of norms and rules for a society and then change the power dynamics of the situation to suddenly force those norms out. Brandon Sanderson does this masterfully in the Stormlight archives. At the beginning of the series, having light-colored eyes automatically means you are a person of rank and privilege. Being a poor light eyes is far better than being a wealthy dark eyes. Light eyes or dark, both groups have their own internal hierarchies as well. But, as the series goes on, and the return of old magic changes the colors of some people’s eyes, the power dynamic of eye color changes, and many of the characters are forced to confront the arbitrary nature of the light eye, dark eye, dichotomy, each in their own way.
The best stories are ones that show truth. The truth about most of what we do as humans is that it’s arbitrary. We have certain standards and taboos that do serve purposes. Some help protect people from harm in both short-term and long-term situations. Eating garbage or marrying your sibling are not wise moves and thus those taboos are useful.
However, many things we hold as important are really just cultural preferences. Loving your culture isn’t wrong. It’s just that these things don’t have any root in objective truth. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have value. There are many beautiful traditions the world over that some consider strange, while others find unity and comfort in them.
It’s all complicated. Wonderfully complicated. I think too often we look at complexity and throw up our arms and say, it’s too much effort to understand. But I think it’s better to be curious. But then, that is why I became an Anthropologist.
Writing honestly means to look at the world and understanding it for what it is. The world you create in fiction, is a reflection of who you are. Sometimes that means to create the best worlds, we have to step outside of what’s comfortable or easy. Good worldbuilding means you need to understand the cultures you’re creating. You need to hold what they see as sacred in your mind. Immerse yourself in their worlds. Live through your characters and embrace the wonderful complexity of the world you’re creating. Maybe try a little schismogenesis on for size.
After all, what’s more fun than being a creator?
Happy Worldbuilding!
P.S. I lied about the picture of me in a bikini…

Shades and Shapes in the Dark
Sometimes a story or a character simply won’t leave me alone. It intrudes in every idle moment and even in dreams. It refuses to go away until I do something about it.
I guess that’s my way of saying that I’ve been working on a new book. Yes, I know there are other projects… but this one just won’t stop pestering me.
I’ve only told two people who are close to me about it, but in the last month (one of the reasons for my lack of posting anything) I’ve written 47,000 words in this book. I am hesitant to make any promises for when it will be finished (or any of my other projects) but it seems to me, if I keep writing this pace, it will be finished by the end of the fall season and perhaps sooner.
The book is both Dark Fantasy and Horror and is titled Shades and Shapes In the Dark. And though it is still a work in progress, I am going to share an excerpt here for everyone, and the first full chapter for my wonderful paid subscribers over on Substack
Here is the blurb for the book:
A Girl, A Skateboard, And Four Decades of Darkness…
When nine year old Clarissa chased a thief through the woods and stumbled upon a strange meadow, she had no idea that the creature living within would begin following her and feeding on her for the next four decades. Now, she must reflect on her life, and all the ways in which the creature she has named Demon has tormented her. For somewhere in her long experience there must be an answer to defeat it once and for all, or she will face a fate worse than death.
Shades and Shapes in the Dark
By Michael Kilman
Part 1
A Game of Shapes and Shadows
Those shades and shapes in the dark,
From which we draw our desires,
Shape our way of knowing,
Of where best to put our ire.
We cannot see the murky mists,
With our eyes shut ever so tight
Where we leave behind only corpses,
And journey into endless night.
Oh how we take and take some more
For thieving is our business.
We are a shadow of what we once were
When we know only stiffness
Where ever you go is where you are
No matter how fast you’re running,
No magic, nor wisdom, can set you free,
From your mind’s endless cunning.
Come,
Let us wonder through trains of thought
And let the forms take their shape
For having read this far already
Know now, Reader,
There is no escape…
Chapter 1
Tonight, she would stand before Demon for the last time. It was the last time because, now, tonight, as the cold crept in under her skin on the darkest night of the year, and as the snow pelted her face with it’s cold harsh kisses, she would end it. She was tired of running, tired of hiding, tired of the manipulations and the games the creature had visited up on her these long years. Her torment would end before the sun rose over the snowy meadow.
She had not come here for suicide, far from it. She was no conciliatory party accepting defeat and sewing for peace. There could be no peace between them. It was time to surrender to her fate, here, tonight, no matter her fortune. She would fight with all her being until one lay dead. At least, she hoped Demon could die. Perhaps it could not. But as they say, fortune favors the bold. And her boldness was the sharpest of edges.
It had taken everything from her. Through the years it had stripped away all pretense of happiness, so that only unease remained. Only a species of longing stretched out through her loneliness as if a single gossamer thread, balancing all of her life, were holding her up. And she was dangling, oh, she was dangling now. So what use was anything but surrender?
She had come here because this is where it all began. It was the origin story of her suffering, and her brushes with madness. She had looked for Demon’s lair, for the telltale sign of bones or bodies, but she found nothing in the forest. Clarissa had wandered for through the forest for endless hours in the last month. She had learned the nature of every tree and fern she could find. Still, there was no hint of the permanence of the creature, no domicile for which it sought shelter between feedings. As the year drew closed, both on the calendar and her journey around the sun for the forty-ninth time, she had decided to return where it all began.
After she and the creature had met at this crossroad of life and fortune, she had come back one other time to confront it. She had thought it defeated then, but it returned just as fall inevitably follows summer. Clarissa wasn’t ready to die during her last confrontation. She was now. Perhaps that would make all the difference. Certainly something would change after tonight.
It would speak tonight. She had no reason to be certain of a such a thing, but it felt right being here. It didn’t matter that the fear nipped at any exposed skin. Nor, did it matter that if she was wrong it would kill her. It was right to be here, as if she stood at the crossroads of sanity and madness.
It was only because of the snow catching the light of the full moon peaking through the clouds that she could see something emerge into the meadow. There was no sound, save for the soft flutter of snowflakes as they gathered on the tall grass, sliding down to touch the earth and gather together. She wished she could gather like that with others. What a grand thing it would be to build something, some life with other people, but Demon had made certain of her isolation.
The trees bent outward, away from the meadow, and no animal ever dared tread here. There were no tell-tale signs of tracks crossing the open space. Any animal who did come near never made it much further than the edge of the meadow before falling into first death, and then decay and ruin. There was a circle of small bones and corpses ringing the meadow, marking it off as a place of sacrifice. When she had seen those skeletons and the strange growth of trees for the first time all those years ago, it had given her pause. Unfortunately, by then it was too late. She had already stepped inside what she now thought of as, the ritual grounds.
She had spilled blood here. It didn’t matter if it was an accident. She was certain now that, by spilling blood in the meadow, she had woken Demon and begun the unending torment that was her life.
Something was moving on the edge of the wood. It rarely let her see it in all its form and being. Mostly it lurked in the shadows, satisfied to feed on her from a distance, to terrorize with uncertainty. Mostly she only saw shapes and shades of the dark, from which it sipped on her. Even now after four decades Clarissa could close her eyes and hear the soft slurping sounds it made as it sipped from the shadows in the corners of spaces. Perhaps, she thought, it cost a lot for it to take full shape. She couldn’t be sure if it was more terrifying in full form, or as a shadow, but both were the just shades of the same color of fear.
It did not want her dead, at least she didn’t think so. It’s purpose was like a plague that left scarred survivors. Perhaps it was a parasite. She suspected it was her fear, anger, and sorrow on which it fed. For it always appeared when she was deep in possession by strong emotions or it sought to create them. When it appeared, her joy would turn sour in her mouth. Love would wilt away under the drought of goodness so that all that was left was her fixation on fear, then anger, then hatred, and finally despair.
She called it Demon. But she didn’t believe in Deities. Some might argue that the existence of such an evil would demand a deity, but why should it? No, for Clarissa, gods and devils were just lazy stories that people told themselves to feel better about their life. She spat at their simplicity. It would be so easy to hope that some god or goddess would come aid her, to defend her, to send some sign to press forward. But in forty years of torment, she had seen nothing to suggest divine intervention. No, she was on her own. Here she was now, standing in the frozen meadow, forced into a confrontation with some supernatural being. She couldn’t deny magic, but magic didn’t mean there were gods or devils or heavens, or hells.
She called it demon only because she didn’t know what else to call it. It was an animal of some kind, perhaps not one bound by the same rules and principles of our her own existence, but it seemed to follow at least some rules. At first, she had called it shadow, but that wasn’t right. Shadows couldn’t kill. Light disrupted shadows. Demon disliked the light, but… once, it had shown itself in the height of the noonday sun. That moment was forever fixed it in her memory as the moment when her passion was stolen from her, when her one refuge was taken.
There was a soft crunching noise in the snow, now several inches deep. The wind picked up. It did not howl, but it shook the snow from the tops the surrounding trees and cast it into the air like confetti. Somehow she knew that the wind was Demon’s doing and on the back of the wind, she could feel its laughter.
Footfalls emerged before her. She could see impressions forming in the snow. Silence fell. Demon had arrived.
She lifted her flashlight and shone it at the spot. Demon raised its arm to shield it’s eyes, taking a few steps backward. But there was no hiss of burning, or wince of pain, though she had bought the brightest flashlight money could buy. After a moment it let its long jagged arms, relax by it’s side. Spikes protruded every few inches, starting small at its wrists and then growing in size until they stood six inches tall on its shoulders. They reminded her rotting teeth made of something like solidified tar. It’s eyes were like giant black orbs, deep as the darkness it inhabited. To stare into them was to feel a sucking sensation on your soul. Clarissa knew from long experience, that to stare into them, was to risk everything. She stared at them now, fixing her will on Demon.
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Master Four Elements of a Scene to Enhance Your Fiction Writing

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Like music, good writing often has a rhythm and a flow. There are always exceptions of course, but if you want your readers to connect with your content, it can be helpful to consider the four elements below.
This essay will focus mainly on fiction. Non-fiction has a different set of elements, and maybe I will write about that soon (comment below if you’re interested in that).
Before I dive in, It’s important to note, that style is really important here too. Different writers use these elements in different ways, but, finding your way to balance them, can help your writing immensely. Often, thinking about how to balance these elements is better done in your second draft. Why? Well, often the first draft is more about discovery. What’s happening? Why is it happening? Once you have the core basics of what you want the scene to accomplish, then you can go back through and apply these elements. Of course, as you practice, you’ll get better at doing it the first time around too.
As I cover each element, I’m going to write a sample scene using the elements. Each element will build on the previous scene. The first iteration of the scene will only include dialogue. With each element, we will add another layer to the same scene.
Let’s dive in.
Element 1: Dialogue
What makes dialogue compelling? Have you ever stopped and read your favorite scenes of dialogue?
There are a few key ingredients to dialogue. But before we get into that, it’s good to note that dialogue in real life, is not the same as fiction. You can’t listen to real-world conversations to help with fictional dialogue.
When I was in graduate school a huge part of my job was transcribing interviews and roundtable discussions. I spent hundreds of hours typing up conversations. It wasn’t long before I discovered that most people don’t follow the same grammatical rules that we do when we are writing. Good dialogue has to simulate conversation but is cleaner and more to the point. No one wants to read all the ums and pauses and false starts. So a first tip is to consider studying how your favorite novels or films set up quality dialogue.
Beyond the flow of dialogue, it’s vital to consider your characters’ interests. What does your character want out of this conversation? What’s their agenda? Do they just want a cup of coffee or are they trying to persuade someone else to take action?
Every person in the dialogue should have some kind of agenda, even if the agenda is to try and remain neutral or understand what the other character is trying to say. How does that agenda tie into their larger goals? Or does it? Maybe their goal is to relax and their neighbor is pestering them. Maybe the conversation is with a powerful person whose goal is to take over the world.
Dialogues are often games of power, persuasion, and coercion. We use our words to enforce norms in society. We use them to get what we want or prevent something from happening. We use words to connect with people or share our feelings just as often as we use them to compete. Always consider how these conversations drive the plot and character development.
Each of your characters will use different kinds of words and phrases. A ten-year-old, unless they are a prodigy, is unlikely to use big words and scientific jargon. They are also less likely to be self-reflective. However, if the 10-year-old is trying to sound smart (because their agenda is to sound more grown up in a group of grown-ups) it can be fun to have the child use the words incorrectly.
You can also use a conversation between an adult and a child to reveal something about your world. The adult can explain elements of your world or story to your child that might be difficult to do in other ways. Children and newcomers to a world are often useful tool for helping your reader to understand your story more organically through dialogue than a long info dump.
Personally, I am not a huge fan of incorporating a lot of dialects into writing. In the Harry Potter series, for example, I loathe reading the Hagrid Dialogue out loud to my kids. That’s because sometimes it’s hard to understand what the character is saying. You have to read the sentence several times and that kind of dialogue can pull you out of the story and leave you feeling frustrated. Your use of accents or dialects should never pull the reader out of the story. You want to draw people in, not frustrate them and force them to read the same line several times to understand what’s happening. There are always exceptions of course, but generally, I suggest avoiding distracting dialects.
On the other hand, if there are certain words or phrases that a character always uses, it can be a good way to build personality or remind your reader of their quirks. Just don’t overuse this. We have all encountered the annoying person who uses the same phrases over and over. Though, this too can be a tool in writing. Perhaps your main character is exhausted by their neighbor who says the same phrase six times in a single conversation. But remember, a little bit goes a long way.
Avoid adverbs. I’m not one of those writers who says never use them, adverbs have their place. But if you always have to write something like, ‘She spoke softly’ or ‘He said with certainty’ then you aren’t really balancing out the other elements. There are lots of other tools in our writing kits that help us understand tone and emotion. Dialogue can be good for showing the reader things, but avoid telling your reader about the tone or feelings of the character. Let the character share their own thoughts and feelings as much as possible.
There are definitely more things to think about with dialogue but considering these key points can significantly improve your dialogue. If you want to dive deeper into dialogue specifically, I highly recommend the book ‘How to Write Dazzling Dialogue’. It’s a pretty quick read and covers some additional key points about how to improve that particular part of your writing.
Scene Example Part 1: Just Dialogue
Stephanie said, “I’m leaving for a reason.”
Grandma said, “But we need you here on the farm.”
“Bert isn’t going to college. He’ll stay here forever.”
“One person isn’t enough to take care of all the animals.”
“So hire someone.”
“You don’t care about your family?”
“It’s not that grandma. I do care. But this place. It’s just not me. I don’t feel like I fit in here. I want to find where I belong.”
“Stephanie, of course you fit in here. I couldn’t do any of this without you. And besides, Bert isn’t going to marry anyone. He’s not going to have kids. This farm has been in the family for generations and you’re just going to abandon us?”
“It’s not abandoning you. I have to find myself. I’m an artist Grandma. I need inspiration.”
“You can paint here!”
“Paint what? Barns? Trees? Farmers? No. I want to travel the world and paint all the amazing things I see.”
Element 2: Action
Action isn’t necessarily violence. Action is also motion. It’s everyday tasks. It’s moving around in the space and inhabiting it. Action is important because you don’t want your character floating around in a void, you want them to be living breathing beings inhabiting an interesting space.
Is your character cooking dinner while talking to their grandmother?
Are they brewing a magical potion to curse their enemies while discussing their evil master plan with their assistant?
Action and Dialogue work together in beats. The dialogue in the example above is an okay start but when we only have the words, were missing so much more of the lived experience of these two characters. Dialogue and action have beats and melodies just like music.
If you have only dialogue and no action, there’s no room for the reader to pause and consider. Action can give dialogue some breathing room. It can add quirks to each character and deepen the emotions of the dialogue.
Maybe it’s just me, but I struggle to stay interested when there is too much action. A big battle scene, a one-on-one fight, a massive explosion, or a scene where someone is fleeing a monster can be a lot of fun to read and write. But if your characters never stop to catch their breath, if every chapter has a scene where someone is fleeing a monster, if your entire book is a battle… you’re going to bore the hell out of most readers. There are certainly people who will read nonstop action. Hollywood counts on some of those people to consume their endless sequels of Fast and Furious, but even those movies, have downtime.
Action should serve a purpose in the story. Yes, you can absolutely write cool action scenes and they’re definitely fun to write, but why? What does this do to drive the story?
Frank Herbert was notorious for cutting out the vast majority of the big battles in his Dune books, and Dune is hands down the best-selling sci-fi novel of all time. There’s lots of action in the books, but you don’t hear very much about the big interstellar battles as Paul Atredies conquers the galaxy. And while not everyone loves Dune, it’s one of the most important science fiction novels in history. There are lots of ways to approach action.
Why does that bomb need to go off? Why do two rivals have to fight that battle? Or rather, why do you need to show the battle? Is your main character a warrior so the audience needs to see their skills or use of magic? Is important to show them fighting for their life against an evil shapeshifting clown? If your story contains a lot of battles, it’s not necessary to show every element of every battle. Choose important moments in longer moments to highlight important actions. Don’t make the mistake of the Transformers movies and have ninety minutes of a two-hour film dedicated to fight scenes. Those movies make my eyes glaze over because it’s just action, action, action.
Be strategic with your action. Too much and you might have readers putting down your book, too little and they won’t understand the scene the way you want them to.
Scene Example Part 2: Dialogue and Action
Stephanie stirred the marinara and said, “I’m leaving for a reason.”
Grandma kneaded the dough on the adjacent countertop. She pressed her hands much harder in the dough than needed, “But we need you here on the farm.”
Adding in some more garlic, Stephanie stopped and turned facing her grandmother. “Bert isn’t going to college. He’ll stay here forever.”
Grandma sighed shook her head. “One person isn’t enough to take care of all the animals.”
“So hire someone.”
Grandma stopped kneading the dough and put her hands on her hips, scattering flower on the floor. “You don’t care about your family?”
Stephanie turned back to the pot, adding seasoning to the sauce. “It’s not that grandma. I do care. But this place? It’s just not me. I don’t feel like I fit in here. I want to find where I belong.”
Her grandmother leaned into the rolling pin and flattened the dough. “Of course you fit in here! I couldn’t do any of this without you. And besides, Bert isn’t going to marry anyone. He’s not going to have kids. This farm has been in the family for generations and you’re just going to abandon us?”
“It’s not abandoning you. I have to find myself. I’m an artist Grandma. I need inspiration.”
“You can paint here!”
“Paint what? Barns? Trees? Farmers? No. I want to travel the world and paint all the amazing things I see.” She waved her arms around spattering droplets of marinara on the countertops.
Element 3: Worldbuilding
Worldbuilding is the cultural and environmental setting your characters are in. It’s the kinds of cultural elements you’ll see in the seen giving your story more context.
– What time in history does your story take place?
-What is the level of technology?
-Are the characters indoors? Outdoors?
-What kinds of things decorate their walls?
-What kind of furniture or objects fill the room?
-What does the landscape look like? Can people walk in it or do they need a space suit?
We cultivate our spaces based on cultural knowledge and personal experiences. But personal experience is also bound by culture. If you live in a different culture you will naturally have different experiences. Think about the culture and the setting of your scene. In our example, we have a family farm and a young girl dreaming of traveling the world and painting. What kind of cultural details are important to make the world feel real?
Worldbuilding should be realistic. No, I don’t mean you can’t use magic, or spaceships, or supernatural forces, I mean your world must be internally consistent and holistic. What does that mean? It means that there are manyl ways that sentient creatures (like humans) interact and adapt to the world they live in both socially and physically.
-Every culture has limitations and gaps in knowledge. What are your characters?
-What are the power dynamics between the characters? Who tries to assert power? Who tries to resist it? The rebellious teenager who wants to travel the world and paint is trying to both resist the power of the older generation and assert her own.
-Do they fit within the status quo of the culture or is one character challenging the status quo?
-How does their identity fit, or not fit, into the culture?
A few sentences here or there can add a little more context to the world in which the characters inhabit. Everyone always says to avoid info dumping. But what if you have to introduce the reader to a giant walking city, telepathy, and what it’s like to be homeless in this environment in a single scene? How can you avoid info dumping? The balance between these elements (including the next and final one) can help you to draw your readers in and make a scene more compelling, while at the same time introducing interesting concepts or ideas to your story.
If you want a full book chapter that includes worldbuilding through, dialogue, action, and the environment, you might consider listening to audio narration of the first chapter of my novel “Mimi of the Nowhere” for free over on YouTube.
If you want more on worldbuilding specifically, I’ve written several other essays on the topic and of course, my co-written book, “Build Better Worlds: An Introduction to Anthropology for Game Designers, Fiction Writers, and Filmmakers might give you some things to think about.
Scene Example 3: Dialogue, Action, and Worldbuilding
Under the warm light of the kitchen, Stephanie stirred the marinara and said, “I’m leaving for a reason.”
Grandma kneaded the dough on the adjacent countertop. She pressed her hands much harder in the dough than needed. “But we need you here on the farm.”
First, adding in some more garlic she had bought that morning from the farmers market, Stephanie stopped and turned facing her grandmother. “Bert isn’t going to college. He’ll stay here forever.”
Grandma sighed shook her head. “One person isn’t enough to take care of all the animals.”
Cornelius the Rooster picked that moment to jump up and peck at the kitchen window.
“So hire someone.”
Grandma stopped kneading the dough and put her hands on her hips, scattering flower on the peeling linoleum floor. “You don’t care about your family?” She grabbed the ancient rolling pin, that had probably been around as long as she was alive. Two white handprints lingered on her apron as she worked the dough.
Stephanie turned back to the pot, adding seasoning to the sauce. “It’s not that grandma. I do care. But this place? It’s just not me. I don’t feel like I fit in here. I want to find where I belong.”
Rain replaced the rooster, drumming on the window.
Her grandmother leaned into the rolling pin and flattened the dough. “Of course you fit in here! I couldn’t do any of this without you. And besides, Bert isn’t going to marry anyone. He’s not going to have kids. This farm has been in the family for generations and you’re just going to abandon us?”
“It’s not abandoning you. I have to find myself. I’m an artist Grandma. I need inspiration.”
“You can paint here. Your family loves you. We’ll miss you.” She nodded toward the family portraits on the wall, taken semi-often over the last hundred years. The older photos were black and white and gradually changed to a printed copy Grandma had reluctantly taken with her cell phone.
“Paint what? Barns? Trees? Farmers? No. I want to travel the world and paint all the amazing things I see.” She waved her arms around spattering droplets of marinara on the countertops. Similar stains speckled the walls from past disagreements, a map of misunderstandings.
Element 4: Internal Life
Internal life is what’s happening in the character’s mind. Not every scene needs a great deal of internal life, and in some situations, it might make sense to cut it entirely. But I think that internal life can be a powerful ally in writing a scene that connects the reader to the character’s emotions. It can also show how a character has changed in a longer story.
One of my favorite fantasy writers, Brent Weeks, does a fantastic job of using the internal life of his characters to show how they reflect on what’s happening to them and how they’ve changed over time. When you read either one of his famous book series, The Lightbringer, or the Night Angel series, that inner life helps you to feel that you’re growing with the character and you feel a deeper connection.
Things to consider about the element of inner life:
-What are the character’s thoughts and feelings?
-How do they think about what the other person just said?
-How do they feel about the place? The weather? The political situation?
-What do they think about themselves?
-What emotions are most potent in the scene?
-What things do they ruminate on? What can’t they stop thinking or worrying about?
-Do they have trauma? What things force them to relive that trauma?
-What motivates them?
-What are they afraid of?
-How does the internal life reflect the outer conditions?
Be careful, too much internal life can slow the scene down to the point where it’s hard for the reader to focus. If you’re always in the character’s head, the scene can feel bloated. Some books focus so much on inner life that nothing happens for most of a chapter. That may or may not be good for your story. Consider carefully.
Scene Example 4: All Four Elements
Under the warm light of the kitchen, Stephanie stirred the marinara and said, “I’m leaving for a reason.”
Grandma kneaded the dough on the adjacent countertop. She pressed her hands much harder in the dough than needed. “But we need you here on the farm.”
What did they need her for? She barely tended the animals anymore. She couldn’t understand why her grandmother was pushing so hard to keep her around.
First adding in some more garlic she had bought that morning from the farmers market, Stephanie stopped and turned facing her grandmother. “Bert isn’t going to college. He’ll stay here forever.”
Her baby brother loved this place. He was up early every single day with the animals, spent hours on the tractor, and loved the work. But Bert was a loner. He only left the farm to go on supply runs.
Grandma sighed shook her head. “One person isn’t enough to take care of all the animals.”
Cornelius the Rooster picked that moment to jump up and peck at the kitchen window. She hated that damn bird. It woke her every morning and pecked at the window all the time. She definitely wouldn’t miss him.
“So hire someone.”
Grandma stopped kneading the dough and put her hands on her hips, scattering flower on the peeling linoleum floor. “You don’t care about your family?” She grabbed the ancient rolling pin, that had probably been around as long as she was alive. Two white handprints lingered on her apron as she worked the dough.
Stephanie turned back to the pot, adding seasoning to the sauce. “It’s not that grandma. I do care. But this place? It’s just not me. I don’t feel like I fit in here. I want to find where I belong.”
The rain replaced the rooster, drumming on the window. She’d almost rather the rooster. Stephanie was so tired of the rain, of the endless months of overcast. She wanted to be somewhere warm and sunny.
Her grandmother leaned into the rolling pin and flattened the dough. “Of course you fit in here! I couldn’t do any of this without you. And besides, Bert isn’t going to marry anyone. He’s not going to have kids. This farm has been in the family for generations and you’re just going to abandon us?”
And there it was. She wanted Stephanie to become the typical barefoot and pregnant farmer’s wife. And who the hell would she stick around for? There weren’t exactly a lot of good options around here. After high school, all the fun people had gone off to college. After her parents had died, she had stayed for three years until Bert graduated. But she dreamed of New York and Paris and London. And she wanted to see those places before she even considered kids.
“It’s not abandoning you. I have to find myself. I’m an artist Grandma. I need inspiration.”
“You can paint here. Your family loves you. We’ll miss you.” She nodded toward the family portraits on the wall, taken semi-often over the last hundred years. The older photos were black and white and gradually changed to a printed copy Grandma had reluctantly taken with her cell phone.
“Paint what? Barns? Trees? Farmers? No. I want to travel the world and paint all the amazing things I see.” She waved her arms around spattering droplets of marinara on the countertops. Similar stains speckled the walls from past disagreements, a map of misunderstandings.
Concluding Thoughts
Take a look at how much more we know about the character’s motivations and the world in which they inhabit in the last example compared to the first one where we only use dialogue. How I use these elements will certainly be different than how you use them, but I hope the scene examples will help illuminate how you might approach and improve your own scenes.
Even if you choose to skip one of these elements, or if you use one far less than the others, it’s important to consider how each of these approaches is used and integrated into the scene to breathe life into your characters. These aren’t rules, these are suggestions. At the end of the day, you decide how to approach your style of writing.
I write essays like this to help readers like you understand the core foundations so that they can truly understand the nature of the art and craft of writing. After all, the world is a better place with better stories. And I believe that stories can save the world.
I hope this was helpful! Best of luck with all of your writing! Feel free to add questions or comments below.
The Great Magnetic Sock Migration of 2077 (Short Story)

Hey readers,
As most of you know, I write a lot of serious things. So sometimes it feels good to write something absurd and fun. This story will ultimately be part of an anthology I’ve been working on for a while but don’t expect the full release anytime soon. The anthology will be called ‘A Comedy of Mechanical Errors’ and it currently has 10 complete similar stories written in it. It’s a sort of a side project for me but I love each and every one of these stories.
Below is a free preview of the story I published for paid subscribers on substack. If you want to read the rest you can visit the link here and subscribe.
The Great Magnetic Sock Migration of 2077
By Michael Kilman
“Socks… socks Luke. Who would have thunk it?”
As the pair drove west on the highway in the old green Land Rover, Luke rolled his eyes.
He sighed. “How many are on the move now, Roger?”
“One second, let me look.”
Roger opened up his phone and scrolled as Luke drove on. They passed scores of abandoned vehicles on the shoulder. The highway, once 4 lanes, only had enough for two cars to pass abreast, and no one was headed east anymore.
“Wow! 2,938,532,971.”
“How the hell could that be an odd number? Wasn’t that the entire point of those damn socks?”
Luke dodged a few flipped-over cars in the road. One car had a few dozen socks inching over the derelict vehicle.
“I don’t know. It’s just what the tracker says. Maybe a bird ate one of them or something.”
“What the hell would a bird eat a sock for?”
“I don’t know. There’s gotta be a reason though, right? I mean, look at those things. Hey! Maybe one of them fell into a volcano!”
Luke rolled his eyes. “They aren’t the one ring, Roger, they’re socks.”
“They ain’t just any old socks. They’re Super Socks! You know what everyone is calling this whole thing on social media?”
“Do I really want to know?”
“The… ASOCKalypse.” He paused. “Get it? Get it?”
“Is anyone actually calling it that or are you just trying to promote hashtags again?”
“Nope, not me this time. There are like a million memes about it and some of them have us and the other teams in it. Do you want to see it?”
“I’m driving. So… no thanks.”
“Asockalypse ha! I wish I’d thought of it first.”
“Millions of people are already following us and the other teams. What more do you want?”
“I don’t know… money? Fame? Memes?”
“T.S. Elliot was right.”
“What? Who?”
“The Poet. T.S. Elliot.”
Roger just blinked and stared at Luke.
Luke sighed again. “He said that the world won’t end with a bang, but a whimper. And our world is ending with socks and memes. That feels like a whimper.”
“Well there’s gonna be a pretty big bang isn’t there? I mean if we don’t stop this.”
“Okay, so a bang after the whimper.”
“The world’s gotta end somehow right?”
“With socks?”
“No, the Asockalypse!” Roger had a massive grin on his face.
Want to read the rest? Become a paid subscriber of my substack and get a free short story or exclusive content every month.
Launching the ‘Re-Weaving’ Podcast
For a while now I’ve been really focusing on thinking about alternatives to our current, political, economic, and social systems. In that vein, I’ve been reading a lot of books and articles that challenge the apparent inevitability of our current global system. The more I’ve read, the more I realized there are a lot of people in the past and present who are spending time looking at other ways of approaching social organization in this world. There is also a ton of archeological evidence out there now that increasingly demonstrates that the classic story of how humans organized in the early days of our species is nothing more than modern mythology, and that things were, and are, a lot more complicated than historians, economists, political scientists, and others would have us believe.
Some of these ideas are radical and game-changing, some of these ideas are experiments of the imagination. But, I wanted to create a space for people to engage with them, that’s accessible and public. Because everything humans do is complex, and what we imagine matters. So, I’ve decided to launch a new podcast. The podcast is called Re-Weaving. I wanted people to think about how this world is woven together, and how, if we choose, we can unravel some of the toxic systems and approaches and, as communities, weave things back together.
For now, it will be a once-a-month thing that starts as a live stream on YouTube and then will be uploaded to other podcast services after we have recorded. This allows for public engagement and questions during the live stream for anyone who is participating.
My first episode will go live this coming Monday, June 26th at 7 pm. I will be speaking with the Author and Game Designer Joshua L. Stelling for his unique book called The Organomic Manifesto and discuss his ideas for a radically different approach to economics. You can join us live, or watch the replay on YouTube or other podcast sites (I am working on getting other sites set up at the moment).
Here is the link to the very first episode




