Tips to Navigate Those Tough Holiday Conversations (From an Anthropologist)

Is it really the holidays again?

Do you feel stressed just thinking about a few of your relatives who will create contentious conversations? Who are difficult to deal with? Are you ready for the holidays to be over before they begin?

The best advice is usually to avoid those thorny conversations, to find common ground, and focus on stuff you agree on. It’s good advice. But that’s not always possible. Sometimes you can’t avoid the tough conversations. So why not find ways to make them easier over time?

Ram Dass famously said, “If you think you are so enlightened, spend a week with your family.” And it’s true. Our families can be the most challenging group for us to deal with. There is so much history there that they can struggle to see the person you are now, as opposed to the person you used to be. It’s easy to forget that people change when you’ve known them for decades, especially from childhood.

I’ve been teaching Anthropology, Cross-Cultural Communication, and Diversity for almost ten years. So, I thought maybe I would offer up a few tips to help you navigate the holidays and how we can start healing the division we’re all experiencing.

Before I dive in, I want to ask you to read the whole thing. Quite frankly, when I am out in the world discussing this stuff, people will often interrupt and dismiss some of these tools for a variety of reasons. I will address most of this below, so even if you don’t agree with something I write, I encourage you to keep reading till the end because your question might be answered.

1. Listen to Understand, Not To Be Right

When I teach classes on diversity or communication, students are assigned reading reflections. In the first portion of these assignments, they must fully summarize an article with the core ideas, and the evidence the author is using to make their claims. They are not allowed to inject their opinion in the summary section. Why? Because before you can critique an argument, you have to fully understand it. So, before they are allowed to share their opinion, in the following section, they must first demonstrate they can summarize someone else’s argument.

This is an important life skill.

When someone has contrasting beliefs with our own, we tend to shut down and stop thinking critically. The walls go up. Then we accuse the other person of a lack of critical thinking or ignorance or dismiss them in some way. Who is right and who is wrong isn’t really the core issue here. Neither side is hearing the other and so no one will see a way across the divide.

Don’t listen to someone to prove something. Don’t listen to someone to be right. That is just an emotional reaction. You have allowed your emotions to take possession of you. This means the other person will also react emotionally and the conflict will escalate, and both parties will walk away miserable.

What to do instead?

Take a breath and listen. Don’t just listen to what they are saying, but try to understand where their concern comes from. What’s at the root of their fear and anxiety? It’s often different than you might think. What are their desires? Their hopes? What does a good future look like to them?

This leads to the next point…

2. Ditch the Devil’s Advocate

After nearly a decade of teaching, I’ve come to believe that the Devil’s Advocate approach is well, a devil. Meaning that it’s rarely a useful approach. The position of the Devil’s advocate masks itself as sincere critique, but most of the time, it ignores the concerns of the other person and seeks only to undercut someone else’s argument. It’s often dishonest, and disingenuous.

There are spaces where it’s possible to use the devil’s advocate well. If you’re in the midst of a debate in some kind of performative setting, where there is a moderator or someone able to continually keep both people in bounds, it can work. But the Devil’s Advocate isn’t a tool to persuade someone to your side, it’s to persuade an audience to your position. That’s a completely different tool. You’re not going to connect with the person you’re arguing with by using the Devil’s advocate approach, at least not usually. Yes, there are some people who can get something from this approach, but again, in my years of teaching on these topics, I’ve found nine times out of ten, it causes more problems than it solves.

What to do instead?

Use a kind of soft Socratic approach. You have to be gentle with this approach because remember, Socrates pissed enough people off that they made him drink poison. The goal is not to make the other party feel stupid or ignorant (which is what got Socrates killed) but to open the door for them to think about their viewpoint. Ask questions motivated to understand what the other person is saying. These questions should be rooted in an earnest curiosity to investigate their true thoughts and desires.

You’d be surprised how many people build a wall with their beliefs to try and prevent themselves from feeling overwhelmed by information. Soft Socrates can help them recognize that wall, to see that they’ve created a blockage between themselves and others.

How do you do this?

Don’t try to argue your beliefs. Don’t try to make appeals that work on you. Everyone has empathy, it’s a matter of who they have empathy for, and what they feel personally connected too. If someone doesn’t like immigrants, talking about women and children suffering, isn’t going to work in a direct approach.

Ask questions that show them you are empathetic to them, that you’re willing to listen and want to understand them. This builds rapport and creates space for them to share their deeper feelings and thoughts over time, and allows you to speak to them in a way they may understand in the future.

Again, you don’t have to agree with their beliefs or ideas (you can disagree with them intensely), but being able to summarize someone else’s argument effectively, is a really powerful tool for a number of reasons. Remember, this is just a conversation. Nothing is lost if they don’t ultimately agree with you, because, well, they already don’t. So ask lots of clarifying questions. If you can understand their point of view, you can learn to speak their language.

Ask questions like:

You keep bringing this up. Why is this issue more important to you the others?

Can you help me understand how and why you came to that conclusion?

If they got their ideas from a media personality consider: Where do you think that this person got their ideas and information? Have you seen this personally?

Was there something that you experienced that made you feel this way?

How might someone else interpret that experience?

It sounds like you’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. I have too. But do you think you can explain the beliefs of people who disagree with you? Do they all think that way?

How do you think the other side came to their beliefs?

Why do you think their conclusions are as important to them, as your conclusions are important to you?

What do you think is important for other people to know about this topic? Why is that?

Is there another way of thinking about that issue that you can at least partially agree with?

What do you have in common with the people you disagree with?

Wow, it sounds like you care a lot about this issue. How can we solve this issue in a way that benefits everyone involved?  

The point with this approach is to establish common ground and to get them thinking that there are other ways of interpreting the same information. You’d be surprised how often someone who believes the opposite things as you, wants very similar things.

In general, people want to know that their basic needs are going to be met. They want to have the peace and freedom to pursue their interests and desires, and that people will care about them when something happens. Yes, even bigots want these things.

3. Remember Context, Conditions, and Choices

If you’re new to my work, you may not have heard of the Three C’s (well, my three C’s) before. I gave a Ted Talk on this back in 2021 and you can certainly watch that if you want a full breakdown, but in brief, it’s important to remember the elements that make up identity.

Context – The cultural system into which someone was born. This includes all the available cultural knowledge they grew up with, the time in history, and important historical events that will have shaped their thinking. This is the entire system into which they were born, not their personal experience.

Conditions – These are the personal experiences that someone has had in their life. What kind of exposure to different ideas have they had? What challenges have they faced? What are their religious beliefs, language, gender, class identity, and so on. How do these compare to the norms of the culture (does that create conflict or perceived conflict for them?) These are their experiences within the system they were born.

Choices – Once you have taken the time to understand a person’s cultural background and personal life experiences, you can begin to understand many of their choices, their political opinions, their religious beliefs, and so on. This doesn’t mean you agree with them, but this exercise is to help you recognize them not as that ranting irrational person you can barely stand to be around, but as a complex person who has different thoughts, desires, emotions, and needs.

Humanizing someone is important. Dehumanizing someone is the first step to violence. That doesn’t mean you like what they believe (especially if their beliefs are dehumanizing), it doesn’t mean you agree with what they are saying, but understanding is the starting point to a more cohesive coexistence and to find ways to solve problems.

People do not usually change their minds because someone screams facts at them.  They have to connect emotionally with the facts. If you connect with them, and you build trust, they are far more likely to listen to you and given enough time, change their mind.

There are no quick fixes here. People don’t come to hate something in a singular moment. It takes time. Either they are born into a way of thinking and they are raised with it, or something happened to them to put them in a vulnerable position where the seeds of hatred could grow. Hate usually grows from outrage, and these days, all of us, across the political spectrum, consume media that purposely makes us feel outraged. That’s how these companies make their money.

That’s actually optimistic because we’ve created these problems. That means we can uncreate many of them.

4. This won’t work every time, and it takes lots of practice

As someone who has not only taught diversity for a decade but has lived and worked among other cultures, I’ve heard every argument for why we should or shouldn’t appeal to the humanity of someone who disagrees with us.

Things like:

“You can’t be tolerant of someone who wants to end your existence.”

“Some people just thrive on chaos.”

“They are a narcissist (or some other reason they will never listen).”

“They are willfully ignorant and will never change their mind.”

“I know better because I’m older and more experienced.”

“They are too old to change their mind.”

“They could never understand what I’ve been through.”

“Their generation has xyz issues.”

Maybe these are true. Maybe you’re right and that person will never listen. Have you tried the above approaches? Have you put down your weapons and tried to talk about these things, not to win, not to be right, but to understand? Maybe you have. Maybe my advice doesn’t work for the person or people you’re thinking about.

But it will for someone. And in a world where so many of us feel the rising conflict, every person who listens counts. Every courageous conversation counts. It’s often the little acts that change the world, that bring communities together.

People doubt their beliefs, especially when there are obvious holes in what they think. People are aware at some level, of their own cognitive dissonance. It’s why they get so angry when presented with a sincere challenge to their worldview. When you attack them, it gives them a reason to put aside their doubt, and build a higher wall.

But if you approach things from a different direction, if you meet their walls with an olive branch, sometimes they will open the gate. Given enough time, they might start to take bricks off that wall, enough that they can start to see over to the other side. Even if they never fully change their mind, softening their view can deescalate potential violence and conflict. Even if becomes, well, we know we can’t approach that topic but we still love and care for each other, that’s a victory. If you have even 10% more peace during your holiday. That’s a victory.

No this won’t work every time. It might not work the first time, or the tenth, but if we care about this person, or ever cared about this person, we must remember their humanity.

I am definitely not perfect. I screw this up all the time. Ten years of teaching, and I can’t always make it work. There are some people, and some things that just get under my skin and I have a hard time seeing past that. But over time, that’s less true. Over time, I can talk about complex issues such as race, gender, or oppression in ways that are more accessible and thought-provoking, less attacking, and more about developing connections.

I’ve been the angry activist on the street, screaming and shouting for tyranny to end. I’ve written no end of essays and articles about injustice. I conducted graduate research on media and representation and saw all the terrible ways our system treats differences. I’ve struggled with elements of my own identity for most of my life. I grew up in a deeply segregated community on the East Coast and didn’t understand anything about diversity. But I learned. I changed. I continue to make mistakes and reflect so that I continue to grow.

It’s know it’s hard to be the bigger person, really hard. But I promise you, the payoff is worth it. We just have to try. Sometimes we will make a connection and change things for the better. Sometimes we won’t. But you never know for sure until you try.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and some of this is useful.

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Worldbuilding Part 7: Schismogenesis, Taboo, and Identity

How do we create identities? How do we decide what kinds of things are taboo in society? How do we know what is clean or dirty? Have you ever thought about the fact that sometimes, we reinforce our choices and values through rebellion and/or opposition?

It might be obvious why some things are taboo, or at least there is some sense of rationalism surrounding those ideas. It’s taboo to eat out of the garbage, since the likelihood you will get sick is high and that’s where we put the things we wish to discard. But why are there taboos surrounding colors of clothing or beards, or types of clothing or lack of clothing? Is there a rational reason a man can’t wear a bright pink bikini on a hot summer day in American society? Why does this make us uncomfortable? Is there a reason that it’s not considered manly? Keep in mind, by reason, I mean an objective scientific one. Don’t worry, you’re not going to find a picture of me in a bright pink bikini below, I promise. But when you’re building a fictional world, understanding why a society formulates taboos and norms can be really useful.

In this entry on worldbuilding, we are going to examine a way to think about how people form their identities and cultures using the concept of schismogenesis.

(Note: You can find the earlier entries on worldbuilding, including podcasts and a Ted Talk here)

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What is Schismogenesis?

Coined by Anthropologist Gregory Bateson in the 1930s, the term schismogenesis means essentially creation through division. By looking at your identity and behavior, I acknowledge how we are different, and thus solidify who I am. This often manifests as opposition. The most obvious form of schismogenesis is the rebellion of teenagers, who form their identity based on challenging acceptable behavior. Through opposition, they create identity. But this isn’t just a teenager thing, cultures and people do this all the time. It’s why suppressing differences, can actually make them stronger. The identity becomes more legitimate, more solid, because you fight against it.

Let’s return to bikinis.

I (apparently) am the kind of man who wears a bright pink bikini in public, and you, (assuming you’re a male in this example and of the status quo in American society) do not. Thus, I am behaving inappropriately in society, and you are not. You, will try to get me to conform. You will probably mock me for my strange behavior. You may seek to make me feel ashamed of wearing my bright pink bikini out in public. I will do one of two things. Either, I will capitulate, and take off my bikini and switch to the culturally acceptable norm of swimming trunks, or I will continue my rebellion and seek to recruit others who think like me. Thus, I will form my identity through opposition.

These kinds of things happen every moment of every day across every culture. Power and resistance are constantly in play on every level. Think of all the debates going on right now in your culture about what people should and should not do. There are hundreds of topics to choose from.

Let’s look at a more serious example. Take the pork taboo. Lots of people speculate why both Jews and Muslims have a pork taboo. People have puzzled over this idea for centuries. This isn’t just limited to Jews or Muslims either. Why do some cultures say that certain foods are clean, and others are dirty? There are entire lists of foods that people eat in one location in the world, but gag just thinking about them in another.

(Note: If you want to read a whole book on this topic and you are an anthropology nerd, consider Mary Douglas’s award winning 1966 book Purity and Danger: An Analysis of the Concepts of Pollution and Taboo)

But why pork? Well, if you ask a Jew or a Muslim, the answer you’ll likely get is that pigs are filthy animals. They are living garbage disposals and love to live in their own shit and piss and eat whatever you put in front of them. Why, they ask, would you eat such a creature as this?

The reality though, is that pigs are not like this out in the wild. In fact, when I was doing research in a rural village in Mexico in the northern state of Nueve Leon back in 2008, the pigs they had in those villages were far from disgusting or dirty. They grazed in fields alongside the other animals and ate similar things. They didn’t live in mud, they lived alongside all the other animals. So the filthy ‘nature’ of the pig that is the central complaint of the taboo is something artificially created by human action, not nature. Often cultures and people will come up with logical explanations for their taboos to justify their practices.

That doesn’t mean we should disrespect our Jewish or Muslim friends by forcing pork on them. Every culture has things it forbids that defy rationality or reason. We all have superstitions and traditions that aren’t based on evidence. The point here is not to judge, but to understand how this works to better assist you in building fictional worlds.

One possible explanation for the pork taboo is schismogenesis. In the ancient world, there was a period for the Jewish people known as the Babylonian Captivity or the Babylonian Exile. Many Jews were forced to live under the control of the Babylonian empire after the Babylonians conquered the Kingdom of Judah beginning first around 598 BCE. The Babylonians captured and enslaved many of the Jewish people.

There were two large staples of the Babylonian diet that both became taboo under the Kashrut, the dietary restrictions of the Jewish people. The first was pork, and the second was horse. Both foods were common in Babylon at the time. The enslaved Jews did not consume this food previously. Thus, as their enslavement continued, they ate foods similar to that of their homeland, and not of those who enslaved them. This certainly contributed in at least some way to the prohibition, though it may not have been the only cause.

But here we see, at least in part, schismogenesis in action. The Jews, under the yoke of an oppressor, didn’t want to partake in the food of those who had enslaved them, hence, their identity surrounding their food taboo. Several generations lived under these conditions, then, when the Persians conquered the Babylonians and allowed Jews to return to Palestine, many of those ideas circulated into the wider culture. Food is common as an important identity marker in many cultures, this is especially true in populations that have been historically oppressed.

Now again, there are many debates on the pork taboo, and this is only one possible explanation. In fact, most cultural taboos and restrictions can come from several causes at once. But, schismogenesis is useful because it helps clear up confusion in a culture. If the enemy other is doing something, and you don’t want to be like the enemy, then you can avoid doing that thing. This solidifies who you are as a culture and with it, identity. In our case, it helps create more complex fictional characters.

Here are few things to consider if you want to employ the concept of schismogenesis in your fictional world.

1.    What are the core values of each of the fictional cultures you are building?

If you’re setting up a world where multiple major cultures will fight for control, then the first place to begin is where their core values lie.

–        What kinds of things are important to your culture?

–        What taboos do they have?

–        What things to they exaggerate or emphasize about their adversaries?

–        What qualities do they wish to cultivate in individuals on an ideal level?

–        What does their mythology say about core values (refer to Worldbuilding Part 4 – Six Things to Think about When Construction Myth in Fiction if you need help with this)?

If you take these things and sketch out what each culture is doing in these worlds, you will have a good place to see potential conflict between the different ideas of morality and/or taboo in the cultures.

This is especially true if you have a culture that has been conquered by another. Acts of rebellion don’t end at violence or protest. They can manifest in everyday experiences. In fact, when you stress a culture out, there is always a core group of people who will try to preserve important elements of their culture, hence, the rise of fundamentalists. They want to go back to the way things were before the changes came. It doesn’t matter that you can never truly return to the way things were, people want that old sense of safety and security of their cultural norms.

This is why we see groups like the Amish, whose very existence is in opposition to the changes wrought by modern technology. I grew up in part on the east coast, and not far outside of Philadelphia, it was common to see the Amish on the road in their horse and buggy, slowing down traffic. The way they choose to live is a form of schismogenesis. It might not feel subversive to us to live in that way, but to them, it is.

Which brings me to another point. Cultures aren’t homogeneous. There are all kinds of diverse approaches and ways to live within cultures. Be sure to consider that as you highlight the values and taboos of the larger culture above. You will want some wiggle room for resistance, for factionalism, even as larger conflicts between nations are happening. People disagree on pretty much everything, and sometimes that disagreement is a huge part of their identity.

2.    The minor differences matter

Yes, your cultures will argue over the big stuff. But the minor differences matter too. Every culture has a different protocol for body language, for dress, for the kinds of sounds and colors they like and dislike, and so on. Every little thing you do comes from making comparisons against others. While we focus on the things we like and enjoy, we often spend even more time on the things we don’t like or find disgusting as ways of acknowledging who we are.

Small things like how a culture eats can mark identity. Much of Europe didn’t adopt forks until the 17th or 18th century (depending on what region) because they were considered either unmanly or excessive. Just imagine, someone, at some point, was complaining about how feminine it was to use a fork. Yes, that really happened. Someone else decided to use a fork anyway, probably a teenager.

Even generations within cultures employ schismogenesis. Think about what different generations say about each other. I’m a millennial and hear constant complaints from older generations about us. I’m almost forty now, so obviously millennials aren’t that young anymore. I’ve noticed that there are a lot of complaints among my fellow millennials about Zoomers already. We make constant comparisons about all the little things we do differently.

You don’t have to pick big things for schismogenesis, in fact, sometimes a lot of little things add up to create stark differences. Remember, as I’ve said repeatedly in these entries, and in my book Build Better Worlds, culture is a performance. It’s a way of enacting practices to mark who you are and what you value. That isn’t just the big stuff, it’s all the little things too.

3.    Living within a cultural script

Every culture has a kind of script, a set of rules to live by that are both formal (laws) or informal (norms). Some cultures (like our own) make the concepts of choice and freedom paramount to their core values. But if you step outside the bounds of their norms, there are still all kinds of ways you can be disenfranchised. Think of the debates surrounding the right way to be a man in our own society. Forks and pink bikinis aside, these discussions aren’t about objective truth.

In fact, the irony of this discussion is that if choice and freedom were truly at the center of the debate, there wouldn’t be arguments about what makes a “real man”. Men would just go out and do whatever they wanted and that would be manly. These same scripts that proscribe masculinity limit agency (freedom of movement within a culture). There’s no freedom by living up to the expectations of a cultural script, but there is a sense of unity, an imagined comradery. (Note: See Benedict Anderson’s 1990 book Imagined Communities for the Anthropology Nerds out there) Though we may never meet most other Americans, there are certain behaviors and identity markers that are expected to establish a sense of unity across the culture.

This isn’t about good or bad, this is what cultures do. How a culture maintains itself, or how it changes, is an endless conversation taking form in every arena of every culture. These masculine norms aren’t about freedom, it is about expectations, about clearing up confusion to make identifying what is male and what is female in clear terms. Humans in general like things simple. Unfortunately, very little about humans is simple. We might idealize certain behaviors or how many genders we think we are, but of course, certain behaviors that are beneficial and unifying to one group will naturally be oppressive and divisive for another. This is exactly why, opposition can be a core part of identity.

With all that in mind, take a moment to consider, what kind of cultural scripts are used in your fictional world. There are certainly trends among humans. Male domination, though not universal, is common in the modern world. There are still matriarchies out there, but they are few and far between because of the larger patterns of empire and conquest.

A few things to consider with cultural scripts:

–        Remember Cognitive Maps (from the last post on worldbuilding) and how biological differences, magic systems, or superpowers will necessitate different brains and thus, different cultures.

–        Different political systems, like the matriarchy mentioned above, would have different scripts

–        Different economic systems, like a gift economy, or a system that uses potlatching, would have different scripts about what wealth and power look like

–        Different religions, for example, one without deities, are going to focus on different scripts.

–        Remember that culture is holistic, that every part of culture connects into every other part of culture, the scripts about behavior and identity will mirror all these elements put together

4.   Enforcing identity and Solidifying Resistance

In order for a cultural script to be useful, it has to be enforced. In some societies, there are laws about how people dress. They enforce what activities different groups can participate in, how they should appear in public, and so on. In addition to these formal laws, or in a situation where there isn’t written law, rumors and gossip act as a kind of social surveillance to enforce expected behavior. Gossip is likely the oldest form of surveillance and uses shame and guilt as a weapon against anyone who doesn’t fit neatly into cultural scripts. If that sounds like high school, you’re not wrong. Humans have been doing this to each other since we were… well, humans.

Remember, these scripts are also created in part because a culture doesn’t want to behave like the other. They want to mark themselves as distinct and different. They don’t want to engage in the behaviors of the enemy other, dress like the enemy, eat like the enemy, or even talk like the enemy. Groups that are focused on differences will often advocate for exclusionary rules or policies that limit the kinds of diversity possible. They will shame and embarrass those who don’t fit in the mold. Often, they have a fear that this other, this adversary, will creep in and take their culture away from them by changing things or forcing them to change.

We even do this on a large scale. The 1978 book, Orientalism, by Edwards Said, highlights the perceptions of Europe and its false dichotomy of the Eastern world vs Western world. The book is an attempt to critique our stereotypes of the Eastern world, and how empire, colonialism, and bias played a role in our understanding of world history and cultural analysis.

According to Said, men of the Orient were portrayed as culturally backward, physically weak, and feminine. This reinforced the ideas of Western masculinity. Of course, perceptions of the men of the Orient were just stereotypes. And nothing robs people of their freedom quite like a stereotype.  Raj from The Big Bang Theory, and Fez from That 70s Show, are stereotypical examples of Orientalism in action. Both the characters struggle to understand Western culture and are awkward. Both characters spend a lot more time with the women of the group and struggle to relate to the men in the same way. Both characters are mocked for their physical weakness.

Cultures will often create assumed cultural scripts for their enemy. We know these scripts as stereotypes. We expect the enemy to fit only within these boxes, and are often surprised when they don’t. This is not a product of only one culture, all cultures do this. We use our norms and rules to compare ourselves to the cultures we don’t like because they are a direct enemy, or because we consider them less civilized. But it works in a paternal dimension too. Paternalism in this case is the notion that we are more rational or advanced and must help civilize the “savage”.

What are the benefits of using Schismogenesis in fiction?

Employing schismogenesis creates all kinds of fertile ground for storytelling. There will be characters who highlight the differences between each group and hold conservative views about the way things have always been. There will be characters who think that some of these arbitrary things are well… arbitrary. They will accuse the conservatives of living in the past and highlight the ways that the past was ugly. These are the progressives of your society. They often advocate against these kinds of differences. However, they will also employ schismogenesis against those who they disagree with too, often the conservatives of their culture.

Just because you are liberal or progressive doesn’t mean you’re free of bias. No one is free of bias and oversimplistic thinking. We all generalize the people we disagree with. I catch myself doing it all the time. After all, it’s much easier to disagree with someone if you take away the nuance and complexity of their argument and create strawmen that are easy to knock down. We all have things we are bias about and we even know that some of them are arbitrary. Your characters absolutely should too.

There’s a third group in a mix, the ones who stand in the middle. These bicultural individuals (they can certainly have more than two cultural backgrounds) don’t have a specific set of rules or scripts to follow for their identity or they have more than one. Individuals like this are born in the middle of multiple scripts, being forced to discern how to move through the world. They could be mixed ethnicities and thus get culture from each parent, or perhaps they are an immigrant or refugee born in one culture, but now living in another. Every person who stands in the middle will take unique positions on different aspects of their identity and culture. Immigrants should be just as diverse and complex in their approach to the world as characters who are monocultural. Some immigrants may take on the dominant norms as an act of rebellion to their parents. Others may take on the traditions of their homeland to resist assimilation. Schismogenesis in the real world creates all kinds of diverse identities and experiences and in fiction, richer characters, backstories, and worldbuilding.

Consider:

–        How do your characters compare themselves to other cultures and individuals?

–        Why do they make that comparison? Are they jealous? Are they fascinated? Is the grass greener? Is the other more barbaric?

–        Do they see some good things and some bad things about the other?

–        What generation are they a part of? Are there changes in technology for that culture or maybe some new cultural practice or experience has arrived?

–        Has contact with another culture happened recently?

–        Has there been a change in the political or economic structure?

Some Final Thoughts

Norms change. We don’t consider forks unmanly anymore. Though I guess the jury is still out on men in pink bikinis. Every generation gains new ideas, and loses some old ones. Maybe in the era of social media things are changing faster than before, but we need a much longer view, in terms of decades, to really understand what social media is doing to us. Sometimes, changes that appear bad in the beginning create really interesting changes in the long term.  

In building your world you could start out with one group of norms and rules for a society and then change the power dynamics of the situation to suddenly force those norms out. Brandon Sanderson does this masterfully in the Stormlight archives. At the beginning of the series, having light-colored eyes automatically means you are a person of rank and privilege. Being a poor light eyes is far better than being a wealthy dark eyes. Light eyes or dark, both groups have their own internal hierarchies as well. But, as the series goes on, and the return of old magic changes the colors of some people’s eyes, the power dynamic of eye color changes, and many of the characters are forced to confront the arbitrary nature of the light eye, dark eye, dichotomy, each in their own way.

The best stories are ones that show truth. The truth about most of what we do as humans is that it’s arbitrary. We have certain standards and taboos that do serve purposes. Some help protect people from harm in both short-term and long-term situations. Eating garbage or marrying your sibling are not wise moves and thus those taboos are useful.

However, many things we hold as important are really just cultural preferences. Loving your culture isn’t wrong. It’s just that these things don’t have any root in objective truth. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have value. There are many beautiful traditions the world over that some consider strange, while others find unity and comfort in them.

It’s all complicated. Wonderfully complicated. I think too often we look at complexity and throw up our arms and say, it’s too much effort to understand. But I think it’s better to be curious. But then, that is why I became an Anthropologist.

Writing honestly means to look at the world and understanding it for what it is. The world you create in fiction, is a reflection of who you are. Sometimes that means to create the best worlds, we have to step outside of what’s comfortable or easy. Good worldbuilding means you need to understand the cultures you’re creating. You need to hold what they see as sacred in your mind. Immerse yourself in their worlds. Live through your characters and embrace the wonderful complexity of the world you’re creating. Maybe try a little schismogenesis on for size.

After all, what’s more fun than being a creator?

Happy Worldbuilding!

P.S. I lied about the picture of me in a bikini…  

The Truth About Strength and Courage

Our goal in this world should not be to dominate and control, but rather, to empower and encourage the unique qualities of every living being. We should seek to allow the best versions of ourselves to develop and thrive and encourage those around us to do the same.  I’ve said it before, our diversity in thinking, experience, ways of knowing, and qualities are the greatest tools human beings have. After all, if we try to tackle the same problem with the same approach time and again, all we do is make ourselves miserable and the problem still won’t be solved. Throughout history, the greatest achievements have always come from collaboration across diverse viewpoints. The greatest works of art, the greatest developments in science and technology, and the answers to our most difficult problems were all solved by applying diverse thinking and skills and collaborating with others.

So why do we fight so hard against diversity and difference? Why do we so often seek uniformity?

The answer is simple, fear and cowardice. 

The concepts of strength and courage have, for too long, been equated with the ability to dominate, to control, to create order and hierarchy. But neither strength nor courage is really about these things. These notions are falsehoods perpetuated by longstanding narratives and myths that reinforce existing structures of domination and control. Essentially, the reason we’ve come to feel that strength and courage are about these things is that those in power have used that narrative to legitimize their abusive system.

What do I mean by an abusive system? 

Regardless of which political or economic system you employ, it becomes abusive the moment that it creates a situation that takes away people’s agency. This isn’t an argument for libertarianism though. This isn’t an attempt to say we should undo government regulation. There are many ways you can take away people’s access to society, and deregulation of the private sector and creating a situation where those with money and power have no accountability to the people they impact with their choices can be just as destructive as systems with governments that have too much power and too much invasion of your privacy.

An abusive system is one where a large portion of the population struggles to meet their basic needs and are chasing after safety, security, health, and must suppress their skills and talents to survive.

Any system that causes suppression of our creativity, our dignity, and eats up most of our free time, is an abusive system.

An authoritarian government is an abusive system.

A system where a small minority of people control the majority of resources is an abusive system.

A system where you are discriminated against because of either outward features or inward abilities, is an abusive system.

A system where there is only one right way of thinking and there is no opportunity to play with ideas is an abusive system.

Anything that stifles agency and creativity is abusive. Nor can we forget that freedom must be partnered with accountability. For if your freedom erodes the freedoms of others, and there are no consequences, this too creates abusive systems. Freedom without accountability is nothing more than a weapon wielded by those who are already powerful. Freedom without accountability has the possibility of becoming tyranny.

The American ethos is one that is supposed to value ingenuity, persistence, creativity, innovation, and the opportunity for individuals to improve themselves. We often point to the narrative of bootstraps, one that suggests that with hard work, anyone can make something of their life. But the sad truth is, we don’t have a system that values that at all. We have a system that uses the idea of the self-made person to suppress the best qualities of the American Ethos (See my posts How to Understand Poverty and Success is Luck for exactly why this is true) and further empowers those who already have wealth and power in our society. The current incarnation of this has been heightened since the end of the 1970s, but certainly is not unique in the history of this country or indeed across quite a few cultures. Though, as David Graber and David Wengrow very successfully demonstrate in their book The Dawn of Everything, nothing about this system is natural or inevitable.

The thing is, we could absolutely cultivate those values. We could create situations where anyone who wants to pursue their dream and work hard, has the support to be successful. But as long as we measure success by the ability to dominate and exploit (basically wealth as a measure of success) we can’t have those things at all. As long as we hold up excess, self-interest, and competition as the cornerstones of our system, the majority of the population will never have the ability to meet their potential. Competition isn’t inherently bad, but when the result of competition is the destitution of some of the population, then we have missed the point. We have simply replicated the pattern of domination and control.

What does this have to do with strength and courage?

In order to justify an abusive system, you have to create propaganda. As Michael Foucault once stated, (paraphrased from his book Discipline and Punish) every system of power has the same problem. It must seek to enact that power at the lower possible cost to those who wield it. In other words, the best way to keep control is to convince people to police themselves, to enforce the morals and ideas that allow you to maintain an abusive system.

The concept of masculinity has been deeply tied to notions of strength and courage. We see action heroes in media dominating people around them. We have competitive sports that, even when they are about teamwork, often highlight who can do the most damage. We see propaganda on news outlets and in commercials about what it means to be a “real man.” The work of sociologist Jackson Katz looks at how we use these ideas to reinforce an abusive uncaring system that hurts men and honestly, everyone else. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend his documentary “Tough Guise 2” which further elaborates these points and offers significant evidence. He also has a body of written work and research worth considering.

Strength has nothing to do with whose ass you can kick. Strength and courage are about adapting to whatever circumstances you find yourself in and finding a way to press forward. Strength and courage are not about the individual, but about creating connections with others to navigate through difficulty. There is very little in this world you can do entirely on your own. You need other people to help you to achieve your goals and dreams. It takes courage to take a risk and go after your dream, but it also takes support from others. Often, people can’t take risks unless they have the right kind of support or circumstances.

To open, to be vulnerable, to admit when you are wrong, and to journey into the unknown, this is the nature of true courage. And when you encounter things that make you uncomfortable, strength is the ability to persist and the attempt to understand. Strength is not lashing out in fear. Strength is not painting a picture in your mind of why someone is your enemy, why someone is wrong, and/or how you must dominate them to prove yourself right. Strength and courage are doing your work honestly, sharing your knowledge, and then stepping back and allowing your contribution to speak for yourself. Strength is embracing the truth, that all beings are our relatives, and have been our mothers in the past. For there is no place where we begin and end, we are an ever-linked and interconnected part of the whole being that we call life.

Why Your Narrative Design Team Needs An Anthropologist or at Least Some Anthropology

I’m an avid gamer and science fiction author in addition to being an anthropologist. So for me, worldbuilding is everything. A bad worldbuild immediately turns me off to games, and I know that as gamers become more sophisticated, many people are feeling the same. First of all, some of you may be asking, Just what is Anthropology? Well, for a quick answer, it’s the study of humans and cultures. Anthropologists like myself spend years studying culture, identity, and cultural systems. We also have a unique approach that not only helps with building a fictional world but is vital for creating a realistic and immersive world system. (For more on what Anthropology is, check out my YouTube series Anthropology in 10 minutes or Less)

Below are a few reasons an Anthropologist (or at least some anthropology) could augment the quality of your game and the experience of your gamers.

1. Holism.


The concept of Holism is a vital component in anthropology and is one of the three elements of Anthropology that make it unique from all other social sciences. Holism is the very real and applicable concept, that culture and identity are an integrated system, and that when you change one thing, it’s going to change everything. Think of the famous chaos theory concept, the Butterfly Effect, that the smallest changes can have a massive and unpredictable ripple effect outward.

What does this mean? Well, your fictional economic system, your family life, your political system, your religion, your ethnic system, your culture’s attitudes towards death, their biology, their environment, the kinds of things that they make, and more, are all deeply interrelated and connected. So when you’re building a fictional world, it’s important to consider these relationships and how they all relate to systems of power, identity, freedom, oppression, and so on. It sounds like a lot doesn’t it? It is. But it’s also why Anthropologists are essentially jacks of all trades. Our job is to understand how these systems operate and change. We look at the big picture of how societies operate as well as how biology and the environment impact us. Ultimately, culture is an adaptation to biological, environmental, and social forces. A holistic approach helps us understand those relationships.


2. More Immersive and Realistic Interactions and Game Changes


Creating a fictional world in game, film, or written form is a massive undertaking, and for gaming and other interactive mediums, considering culture can absolutely make or break a game. It doesn’t mean you have to get worldbuilding perfect, (very few games around have really truly holistic worlds but there are more with each passing year) but, it will also help you to think about the causes, and consequences of the actions of not only the NPC’s but the characters as well. Think about how much more interesting the choices in your games can be for characters if, their actions and choices early game create ongoing cultural changes. Imagine if allying with an NPC early in a game could have real, culture-wide consequences that ripple outward in interesting and meaningful ways (Not just who you get to be friends with later) What would look like? Well, that’s where an anthropologist could come in. We have more then a century of research on what culture changes looks like and how it manifests. For example, when I recently consulted for a major tech company, we talked about how the 1918 pandemic shifted our standards of beauty and made things like tanning popular, and altered our architecture to include more sunlight and open spaces in our buildings in the United States.


3. Anthropologists Are Intercultural Communicators


Our job as anthropologists is not only to study and understand cultural systems but to also act as intercultural communicators. We help different kinds of cultures and subcultures communicate and work together. It’s also why so many tech companies these days hire UX and Design Anthropologists because we understand elements of human behavior that a lot of other people miss. Anthropologists study human behavior and cultural trends and how people experience the world across cultures. So if you want to release an app in India, or China, or Germany, they will necessarily require different cultural considerations. Within a game with diverse populations, towns, and political factions, this becomes vital.

Remember that potential change I was just talking about early game as a potentially major change agent in this hypothetical game world? Your choice of who you align with or interact within the real world can have some hefty political ramifications. Early on in my field research experiences, I learned that not every group, even within a single culture is going to react the same way to change and some may or may not be able to communicate the impact of those changes effectively. One thing you learn really quickly when you go out in the field and work with people and do research is that even the most positive and useful changes you help a culture make will have all kinds of strange and unexpected consequences. Further, no matter what the change, someone is always going to be disenfranchised and will push back against the changes, even if they are beneficial for everyone but themselves. An anthropologist who has been in the field and studied culture for years of their life is going to help you think critically about what those changes will do and how different groups will interact with them.

4. Diversity Is A Strength, Especially if You Want An Immersive Fictional World

There’s a lot of discussions these days about representation and diversity, and rightfully so. The gaming community has been grappling with being more inclusive, not only in the makeup of companies but also in gaming content itself. The reality is, the lack of diversity in your game or film, or writing project is actually just simply, bad writing. The world is diverse and complex, your game should be too. But what do you do if you want to write a game about groups or cultures that are unfamiliar to you? Well first, do some background research at the very least. But ideally, you should reach out and work with different cultures and groups that you are portraying (yes even if they are an analogue… actually, especially if they are an analog). An anthropologist can help mediate these conversations and help all interested parties get around some of the communication traps and internal biases that we all have. Without doing the research, might inadvertently create a stereotypical culture that disenfranchises a real culture and create a headache for your gaming company. Remember, bias is not a comment on your character, it’s just the blind spots in your knowledge and it’s an anthropologist’s job to figure out, how these biases get in the way of communication across cultures.

The more complex and diverse your world is, the more immersive it will feel. You want your gamers to feel like they just stepped into an actual world with diverse characters with different skills, hopes, dreams, and inclinations don’t you? If you understand diversity, this becomes so much easier.

5. Imagination Isn’t Always the Same Across Cultures


There’s a problem with a lot of the fantasy novels. They are all the same. So many just take lifted D&D mechanics or they take place in the same European-based cultures that surround 15th– 17th-century technologies. There are some notable exceptions, but you see in the fantasy fiction world, time and time again, the same recycled tropes and storylines. A lot of gaming RPGs suffer the same fate. They don’t offer anything unique or interesting. Personally, interesting game mechanics just aren’t enough to really capture my attention for the long haul. I need an interesting story and world and characters that I care about. The reason things have become stagnant in a lot of media is that we have limited ourselves to the imagination of just a few cultures and traditions. The world is full of amazing, diverse, and unique perspectives to consider in creating fictional worlds, whether based on something real, or something totally new.

Until relatively recently, creating digital games was really only available in a few cultures around the world. But in the past decade or so, that’s changed. Consider the game Never Alone, also known as Kisima Inŋitchuŋa in the indigenous language. It’s a unique game that tells a story about the Iñupiaq culture. In fact, the whole game is in the traditional language with English subtitles. My favorite part as an anthropologist? Not only was the game created by indigenous people for indigenous people thus offering a unique experience, but the game offers interviews with Iñupiaq elders that unlock as you complete each level. This gives your gamers a richer experience and helps expand our imaginations and the possibilities of our future as a species. This is important, because as I said in my recent Ted Talk on this topic, what we imagine matters.

6. Anthropology is a Toolkit

All this above by the way is why me and my colleague Kyra Wellstrom decided to sit down and work on a book, just for gamers, fiction writers, and filmmakers that teaches core concepts in Anthropology. The book is called, Build Better Worlds: An Introduction to Anthropology for Game Designers, Fiction Writers, and Filmmakers. We wanted to create a quick and easy guide for those who may not be able to hire an anthropologist for consulting on their projects and something that wouldn’t require you to dig through a bunch of textbooks to find answers. The book covers so many of the crucial elements of cultural systems because well, viewing the world from an anthropological viewpoint is a toolkit to better understand the how and why of culture and identity. With well over a century of anthropological research, we have a lot of answers and unique approaches to questions about culture. A little anthropology goes a long way.

Over the years I’ve been creating free resources for creatives to help them think about important questions in their fictional worlds, like cognitive mapping, notions of purity, the purpose of mythology, and more on my website. These resources include podcast episodes, recorded panels at cons, and a host of other tips and things to consider in your projects. I hope all of this helps you to build a better world.

Want to hire an anthropologist to consult on your game? Visit our webpage for more info.

Worldbuilding Part 6: Cognitive Maps, Magic, and Super Powers

Recently, I had a discussion with a friend about what kind of biological costs superpowers or magic might have on the biology of the brain. We discussed the impact of cognitive maps based on different biological and environmental systems, and why these are things that might be useful to consider for building fictional worlds. The reality is, the one thing so often overlooked in fictional worldbuilding, is that different species, and different mutations (in regards to superpowers or magic powers) would have a profound impact on the brain structure and perception of the living person/creature. So, it’s worth at least considering a few elements in how a cognitive map, and how a special ability or power might not just impact individual characters, but also fictional cultures as a whole.

You might be asking, well, what is a cognitive map?

To quote a 2012 academic article titled, Movement: Search, Navigation, Migration, and Dispersal:

“A cognitive map is an internal neural representation of the landscape in which an animal travels. Animals that use cognitive maps can “visualize” the landscape and solve orientation problems by referring to these maps. While it is generally accepted that birds and mammals can form cognitive maps, and that the hippocampus is the most important part of the brain in their formation, considerable controversy has centered around whether other animals, such as honeybees, can form similar maps.”

Different animals have different cognitive maps. Different kinds of sensory input changes how a particular species would navigate their environment. Say for example a Mantis Shrimp, which has the most complex visual system of any creature on this planet, would have an entirely different cognitive map than a human. Why? Because humans have 3 photoreceptors in their eyes, a Mantis Shrimp has 12-16 depending on which variety of mantis shrimp you’re talking about.

Now imagine for a moment, a mantis shrimp took an evolutionarily leap and became as intelligent and as self-aware as the human species, but still had that same complex visual system. Naturally, their cognitive map would be far different than humans.

Well, one sci-fi author by the name of Adrian Tchaikovsky, played with this idea (though not specifically mantis shrimp) in his books, Children of Time, and it’s sequel Children of Ruin.

Children of Time and Children of Ruin

Without giving too much away, Tchaikovsky’s books Children of Time and Children of Ruin, ask the question, what kind of civilization would a spider, an octopus, and a kind of fungi analog build if they were genetically engineered to evolve human level, or greater intelligence. The answer? One that is a hell of a lot different than humans. But, at the same time, a creature, regardless of its cognitive map, still has to solve the problem of energy, or rather how do you build a large-scale civilization and economic system that could support a large population with different cognitive maps. So even though their maps might be different, to build civilization there would be some overlapping concerns.

For example, (and again I am not going to give away too many spoilers and ruin these amazing books for you) Tchaikovsky, at the beginning of Children of Time, introduces a jumping spider that has been accidentally introduced to a virus that will artificially accelerate its intelligence. The spiders, with completely different senses, biological imperatives, and priorities, build a civilization throughout the book. This civilization is based on a creature that not only builds a web but uses it as a primary means of communication. In this particular species, the male is much smaller and is often eaten after mating with a female, and thus, their world also includes a component of significant gender inequality, where the larger female spiders control civilization. Tchaikovsky, uses these differences to highlight how difficult communication would be with a species with a fundamentally different cognitive map than humans.

2 The production of speech sounds

So it’s something to think about. If you have giant intelligent snake people in your fictional world, you would have different cognitive maps.

Oh and also, another bone to pick about video game worlds like the Elder Scrolls, Argonians and Kadjit would never, ever be able to mimic human speech, and certainly not English. This is also a problem with the Planet of the Apes series. Biologically speaking, the physical apparatus of a mouth, nose, throat, tongue, teeth, pharynx, larynx, and other parts create a specific kind of instrument from which certain sounds are produced by humans. It’s why some animals make noises that humans could never mimic. So an Argonian speaking English would be akin to trying to get trumpet noises out of a violin, it’s completely impossible. Of course, with your fictional world you can certainly do what you like, but understand that even other primates can’t mimic the same sounds humans make. It’s why Koko the Gorilla, and Kanzi the Chimpanzee, both used sign language and/or soundboards to communicate with humans because they physically can’t produce the sounds for human language.

Different Cultures Have Different Cognitive Maps

In the book, Don’t Sleep There Are Snakes: Life and Language in the Amazonian Jungle, linguistic anthropologist Daniel Everett discusses the Piraha tribe who live on the Amazon. Though he never explicitly discusses cognitive maps, at one point in the book, he takes some of the men from the Piraha, to a Brazilian City. While there, the members of the tribe are almost hit by cars, and have, what are basically anxiety attacks about being in the city. They really hate it. Why? Well first, Everett then talks about his own experiences in the Jungle for the first few years. In one story, he talks about a python hanging from a tree that the Piraha spot without a second thought. They try to point it out to him, but he can’t see it no matter how hard he tries. He talks about several other instances when he just wasn’t able to see or experience the things the Piraha tribe were, and he had, what was basically anxiety about it similar to the men’s experiences in the city.

One of the things that cultures do, is map their environment as they learn to navigate it. So, if you’re suddenly dropped in a new environment, say, as a Piraha person in a city they have never been to, or an Anthropologist, who grew up in a suburb and suddenly finds themselves in the dense jungle, the cognitive maps you have used your whole life will no longer function properly and you will struggle to adapt until you can construct a new cognitive map (which can take years for completely foreign environments). This is in part what creates culture shock for people who travel to other countries and cultures.

Remember, a cognitive map, is a mental picture of the environment around you. Over time, these maps become a part of our subconscious assumptions of the world and structure our biases. Different cultures are the result of different environmental conditions, and thus will have a different cognitive map as a result. Now, of course, the variation in which these maps can come in, is limited by human biology, but it’s work thinking about as you are building fictional worlds, that different cultures will have different perceptions and priorities based on the physical and cultural conditions on the ground. Of course, this certainly relates to my YouTube episode on the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis and is worth considering, how this also impacts language.

Neurodivergence, The Brain, and Super Powers

There are more than a few problems with the way that Super Powers and Magic use are displayed in popular fiction. Now granted, these aren’t things that occur to most people (myself included until recently) and of course, part of worldbuilding is the suspension of belief. But if you are doing a hard magic system, something you might want to consider is the physical toll that superpowers or magic might have on the nervous system and the configuration of the brain.

By definition, someone with super powers or the ability to wield magic would necessarily be neurodivergent. This term means, essentially, that the person’s brain would not work the same as the average population (Of course if your goal is to make a world where the norm is magic users, they would have normal cognition for that world).

I myself have a form of neurodivergence called Prosopagnosia, also known as faceblindness. This means that I am not able to hold faces in my memory the way that most people can. It can be incredibly frustrating when dealing with large crowds, but once I discovered I had the condition, I was able to create new strategies for moving and interacting through the world. You could say, in fact, that I, had to have a different cognitive map to function. Neurodivergence comes in a lot of flavors, it’s most often associated with people with psychiatric disorders, autism, ADHD, and a host of other conditions that humans have in the modern world. Divergence doesn’t make anyone less of a person, but it does mean that their cognitive maps are different.

Take Albert Einstein for instance. There are many who suggest that he was neurodivergent. There is speculation that he might have had one or all of the following: Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, on the Autism Spectrum, and possibly ADHD. There are a number of reasons for these speculations including his difficulty with social situations and his inability to function in traditional European school systems. But here’s the point, he was a super genius and that had a cognitive cost. His cognitive map was far different from the average human and the way he navigated that environment was different from most people. This, in turn, allowed him to tackle questions that most human beings could not, and he changed the world as a result.

Again, this isn’t saying that one kind of brain is necessarily better or worse than another, but that, in fact, different brains will approach problems and solutions differently. It’s one of the reasons that, I argue in my Ted Talk, that diversity is one of the most powerful tools in our arsenal as humans. But be warned, I’ve met quite a few people who believe they are better or worse than others because their brain is different, that’s simply not true. It’s like arguing which fruit is objectively the tastiest. It’s pointless. But it is empowering to understand how your own brain works isn’t it?

So, back to superpowers. One thing you might want to consider if your character has, say, telepathy or telekinesis, is that they would in fact be neurodivergent. They would have completely different senses that were required for those abilities to function.

Here’s the thing, Our brain only has so much processing power, and can only handle so many kinds of sense perceptions. Contrary to popular brief, we use all of our brain. This idea that we only use 10% of our brain is utter nonsense. So if you’re adding in other senses or abilities, realistically, it would have to be at the detriment of other senses or brainpower. Keep in mind that the human brain uses an average of 20% of our daily energy.

Also, as it turns out, Human senses are a hell of a lot more complicated than just the five we’ve been told about in elementary/primary education. Check out this NYT article for a better explanation on why we have more than five senses, and why senses are a complicated spectrum of experience.

Different sense perceptions necessitate different cognitive maps. After all, cognitive maps are built from our sense perception. You use all of your senses to build a mental model of the environment around you. So if you could fly, that would necessitate different sense perceptions and thus a different cognitive map. Consider the Marvel character, Daredevil, who has the ability to see based on what’s basically sonar, but the cost of that ability, was the standard human trichromatic visual system that we experience. That gave him some advantages, but anyone who watches the Netflix series, or reads the comics, knows that it comes with some significant disadvantages as well. Though personally, I think the advantages are a bit unrealistic even though I definitely enjoyed watching Matt Murdock kick ass in the Defenders.

So if you have a hard magic system, genetically engineered super powers, or something similar, you might want to consider what things your characters would have to sacrifice in order for those abilities to be viable. Much of the world’s fiction is filled with examples of this done horribly wrong, but then, a lot of the time, imagination is about playing with the unrealistic isn’t it? Considering the above could be a really interesting way to build a different kind of fictional world. After all, one of the problems we face in fiction is repetitive stories, so perhaps different cognitive maps could help us ask different kinds of questions about ourselves and what’s possible.

Special Thanks to my friend Lyndsie Clark for inspiring this blog. Go check out her website.

Also, you want to know more about how to build a more realistic fictional world using real Anthropology? Check out my co-authored book with Kyra Wellstrom, Build Better Worlds: An Introduction to Anthropology for Game Designers, Fiction Writers, and Filmmakers.

And of course, if you are looking for more free worldbuilding resources, check out my webpage on writing advice.

Spoken Word: I’m Sorry to Interrupt (And I’m on TikTok Now)

Hey all, I recently started a TikTok Page where I talk about anthropology, history, worldbuilding, poetry and a few other elements of my life and experiences. But today I posted a brand new piece of Spoken Word there called, I’m Sorry to Interrupt.

Here’s the Video:

Here’s the text for those who just wish to read it.

I’m Sorry to Interrupt


I took a breath

I’m sorry to interrupt

Cause it’s time for me to deconstruct

What you just said

I have to make space

I have to write new words in this place

See

I took a breath

My heart was throbbing

And the pain was bobbing

Up and down my throat

It’s like, a perfect melody I wrote

And you just can’t play the right notes

And you struggle so hard to stay afloat

And you can hear them gloat about rigging the vote

But you just can’t devote the time and energy to spread an antidote

But you do it anyway  

So I took a breath

And I breathed some more

And you draw on every ounce of compassion out of your very core

Because before you open the sore

Before you start that war

Before you look for

A safe harbor to explore

Some common ground to open a door

You take a breath

And create some space

So that you face the anger and chase to replace

The commonplace assumptions from that deep dark place

Where we ignore that we treat people different because of race

And that history that we try to erase?

You take a breath

And then the question

You don’t know if that student will have any reception

To these new truths that will push up against their perception

There’s such a disconnection here,

So much fear of the things that they hear might be true  

But what I  am supposed to do?

Part of me wants to turn the screw

Part of me wants to make them rue the day they pushed through and cut off their classmates words intertwined in a shrew view that’s all askew that prevents them from ever having a breakthrough

Because they’re scared

So I take a breath

And I breathe some more

Because I know what I’m here for

And I have to push just a little more

Because I’m not sorry to interrupt

Live on YouTube! Build Better Worlds Chapter Reading and Q&A with Kyra Wellstrom and Michael Kilman

Good morning everyone,
Today, Kyra Wellstrom and I go live to read a sample chapter from our worldbuilding book and answer worldbuilding questions on YouTube at 11am MST. You can find the stream at https://youtu.be/QS3Yse-rv3g

The discussion will be recorded so if you miss it don’t fret! You will be able to find it at the same link. But if you can come live, we’d love to field your questions about worldbuilding and anthropology.

See you soon!

Build Better Worlds Cover Reveal!!!

Last week I posted a sample chapter from Build Better Worlds: An Introduction to Anthropology for Game Designers, Fiction Writers, and Filmmakers. The book is due out this fall and will cover a host of issues in worldbuilding from the perspective of Cultural Anthropology, Biological Anthropology, Linguistic Anthropology and Archaeology. By using the science to compare real life cultures and what core elements exist in them, the book talks about how better to create authentic fictional cultures.

Without further ado, here is the cover for the ebook version of Build Better Worlds. More info and the official release date coming soon!